


Long Lost

by shannyfish



Category: Supergirl (TV 2015)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst, CADMUS - Freeform, DEO - Freeform, Danvers Sisters, Danvers family, Danvers family reunion, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Experimentation, Father-Daughter Relationship, Gen, Hurt/Comfort, Injury, Project Cadmus, Sacrifice, long lost father
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-04-08
Updated: 2016-05-10
Packaged: 2018-06-01 00:13:22
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 8
Words: 28,421
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6493366
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/shannyfish/pseuds/shannyfish
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Alex and J’onn are on the run and in pursuit of Jeremiah at Project Cadmus.  What they find at Cadmus isn’t exactly what either of them expects.  Canon divergence from the end of "Manhunter".</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. The Price of Freedom

**Author's Note:**

> Follow me on Tumblr (shannyfishwriter) for updates, extras, and sneak peeks! I will try to reply to everyone's comment :) I love chatting with everyone!

_ "We don't meet people by accident.  They are meant to cross our paths for a reason." - Unknown _

  
  


*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

  
  


"Alex?"

 

"I'm fine," she whispered.

 

J'onn sat down next to her on the floor and just sat there in silence.  Alex knew that he was worried about her.  He'd voiced his concern many times since they'd left National City.  That was several weeks ago.  It was also the longest that she'd been apart from Kara since she'd become Supergirl.  She kept worrying about her sister and the DEO, but kept trying to remember that Kara could handle herself and she had Lucy to look after her.  

 

They'd been constantly moving and right now, Alex was having a hard time not wanting to just give up and go home.  She hated feeling so negative because she knew that J'onn would pick up on it.  Damn alien telepathy.  At least she knew that he didn't hold things like those kinds of thoughts against her.  They'd been in close quarters for weeks and Alex was dying for a shower.  

 

"We're close," he whispered as he put his arm around her and pulled her towards him until her head fell to his shoulder.  "Just a little longer, Alex, a little further."

 

"Talk to me," Alex whispered as she closed her eyes.  She wasn't sure the last time she'd slept, but right now...she was exhausted and she didn't think she could move any more until she got some sleep.  "Just for a little bit.  Tell me about Mars."  That's what he'd been telling her.  Sharing with her pieces of his past, his family, of Mars...as almost an award to keep her going.  

 

"How about a lullaby instead?"

 

"You sing?" she breathed the question through a yawn.  

 

"Sleep, Alex," he told her gently.  It was only a breath in between before J'onn started to sing softly in his native tongue.  Alex didn't understand any of it, but it was beautiful and she didn't fight sleep when it tugged at her.

  
  


*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

  
  


"We sure this is Cadmus?"

 

"No," J'onn admitted as they surveyed it from a distance.  "But no matter what it is, you need to promise me that you'll stay close."

 

Alex just stared at him for a long moment.  "We're going to watch each other's backs, just like always," she told him, not sure if he was meaning something else.  J'onn could transform and he'd be able to get them out of there quickly, if he had the space to fly and a route out of the building.  All Alex could think about was how her father was still alive twelve years later, after all of that time of thinking that he was dead and not having him in her life.

 

"Alex--"

 

"I'll focus," she brushed it off.  She knew that J'onn had been keeping tabs on her mental state via his Martian telepathy.  Alex couldn't help what she thought, though.  He wasn't being nosey, she knew that he was doing it because he wanted to make sure that it was safe for them to go in, that she wouldn't be distracted, that she'd remember what she'd been trained to do.  "I just…"

 

"I understand."

 

She turned to look at him.  "We're  _ so _ close."  She'd told Kara that  _ she  _ needed to do this and she did.  Right now, as they stared at the facility that they believed was considered Cadmus, Alex's fears rose inside of her.  Her father was alive, but they'd been doing something to him for the past twelve years.  What if she didn't recognize him?  Cadmus was a torture chamber, she had no idea what they did to humans...but she knew that it couldn't be good.  

 

"I promise you, we'll bring Jeremiah home."

 

"But will he be my dad?" she questioned.  Alex turned her attention back to the facility and blew out of a huff.  They were going to have to wait a couple of hours before they went in, it was going to be long, but she knew that it was the smartest way...and they needed to be smart about this.  

  
  


*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

  
  


It was dark and they knew that they were about to do a shift change, they'd been watching long enough to be prepared (or at least they were confident they were).  They moved down and closer to the facility entrance.  Once inside, it was going to be solely upon them relying on each other and using their training.  They had no idea what the inside of the facility looked like or where Jeremiah Danvers was being held.  It was a huge gamble and it wasn't going to help their fugitive statuses.  

 

" _ Alex _ ," J'onn whispered as they got closer.  "Are you  _ sure- _ -"

 

"I'm  _ going _ ," Alex confirmed.  J'onn had pitched the idea of him going in there several times, but she just couldn't stay out and wait.  This was  _ her  _ father and she was determined to see it through.  "I'm not letting you go in there alone."

 

He wouldn't let her.

 

Why would she let him?

 

It was safer with numbers, even if the numbers were low and just the two of them.  Alex had learned that they could do anything together (whether it was her and J'onn, her and Kara, or the three of them), there was nothing that could stop them when they were determined.  This was no different.  She knew that she needed to focus on the task at hand, not the big picture...but the step by step aspect of it because it would be all that was going to keep her focused and sane.  

 

Step one: take out the guards at the entrance without alerting anyone else. 

 

"What about the cameras?" Alex asked as they got into position.  It had been something that they hadn't seen until they got closer, but they knew they were there.  This was a top secret alien torture facility, of course they'd have cameras.  

 

"We could take them out, but I think we're still going to be seen," J'onn told her matter of factly.

 

Alex just gave a nod as she thought that over.  Right now, she really didn't care.  "I feel like they really can't say anything…  He's  _ my father _ .  He's  _ your friend _ .  This is a  _ rescue mission _ ."  They just stared at each other for a long moment before he finally gave her a nod.     
  
It was time.

 

They waited, watched, and when the change of guards finally appeared, they moved just like they discussed.

 

Step one: take out the guards at the entrance without alerting anyone else.  

 

Focus.

 

They moved quickly, the guards were down within seconds and J'onn was shooting out the cameras as she worked on securing the guards.  Carefully and cautiously, they moved into the facility.  With no sense of direction, they were going to have to just figure it out as they went or--  Alex looked over after they'd taken down another set of guards, J'onn was mind melding or whatever it was considered...she waited, but was certain that his goal was to give them a sense of direction, so they weren't proceeding blindly.  

 

"I might know the way," J'onn finally said after a moment.

 

She could hope.

  
  


*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

  
  


His hand on hers made her jump as they came upon a door.  They'd made it this far, just a little further.  Alex looked at him and it scared her, what she saw in J'onn's brown concerned eyes.  "I'm okay," she whispered.  

 

"I don't know what we'll find behind this door."

 

"I know."

 

"He might not--"

 

"I'm okay," Alex repeated.  She squeezed his hand for a brief moment as she stared at him.  "I have you."

 

They didn't have time, she knew that.  They _ both  _ knew that.  No matter what happened, what they found...she knew that there were always going to be three people in the world that she could always depend on and talk to no matter what.  They didn't need words as they stared each other for another second.  J'onn squeezed her hand before moving to open the door.  He wanted to be first through and Alex was certain that it was to act as a shield to protect her from what she might see.  

 

She took a breath before following him in, weapon ready.  They weren't shooting people if they didn't have to and so far all they'd shot at had been cameras.  Sure, they'd been seen, but at least they weren't having their every move tracked.  So, there was that.  It bought them a few extra seconds of time and that had made all the difference so far.  

 

The room they entered irradiated with this yellow glow.  It made every lifeless body in that room look sickly...and there were a lot of bodies.  They were all on metal medical tables and if there weren't beeping monitors next to them tracking their vitals, Alex would have sworn they'd just stepped into a morgue.  "What the hell is this?" she whispered as they looked around.

 

"Cadmus."  Maybe J'onn was trying to distract her or keep her from being emotional, but he didn't stop talking as they looked at each body.  "Cadmus was a Greek hero, before Hercules…  He was a slayer of monsters…  I don't know that he'd appreciate the Army using his name to commit such atrocities in his name…"

 

Alex wondered as they looked at each unconscious person in the room -- no, it was more like a lab -- if her father would look the same...similar...if she'd recognize him.  She also wondered how many other rooms like this one existed in Cadmus and what all of these people did to get themselves sentenced to that kind of hell.  "Maybe we can help them," she found herself saying.

 

"Stay on mission."

 

She looked up at him, almost surprised at his words.  Alex sucked in a breath and knew he was right.  If they had back-up, if this was a DEO sanctioned mission…  Taking a moment, she pulled in a steadying breath, trying not to seethe in the hate she found herself feeling for those in charge of Project Cadmus and then let it out.  

 

"Alex," she heard J'onn gasp.  "I found him."

 

Her world spun and she moved across the room to his side.  Sure enough, her father was there lying on one of the medical metal tables, unconscious and hooked up to monitors and tubing.  His vitals all looked good to her and she started to think over what they were going to do.  Could they unplug him?  They had no idea what they were doing to the people in that lab.  No idea if unplugging him would kill him or not.  

 

"We have to chance it," J'onn told her, obviously reading her thoughts.

 

Alex blinked away tears.  "I know," she whispered.  This was what she'd dreamed of for the last thirteen years, being able to have another chance to have time with her father.  He'd always understood her and she'd always been closer to him and he'd been taken away when she felt like she'd needed him most in life.  

 

"Alex, we need to do this now," J'onn spoke.  His words were urgent and yet gentle.  

 

Pulling herself out of it, she nodded, and then went to work disconnecting her father from the tubing and wires.  The IV bags weren't labeled with anything other than an ID number and a sku.  None of that helped her to know what they had him on.  Right now, it was a gamble and she knew that they needed to take it.  

 

This was their only chance.

 

"Dad?" Alex whispered.  "You really need to wake up for us."  She knew that J'onn could carry him out, but it would be a lot easier if all three of them were on foot and moving.  

 

"Jeremiah," J'onn said as he helped to sit him up.  

 

They were going to need clothes.  Her father was only wearing a hospital gown and that was certainly going to draw attention and not keep him warm at all.  "I'll look for clothes," she said quickly as she left J'onn to try to rouse him.  She looked through cupboards until she found a pair of scrubs that looked like they might just fit him and some slippers with a rubber sole that could pass for shoes for the time being.  

 

She returned to J'onn's side and tried to get her father into the clothes the best she could.  "They're going to be here any minute," Alex said.  She felt rushed, but it was worrying her that her father wasn't regaining consciousness.  

 

"I know," J'onn said.  "I can hear them."

 

Of course he could.  

 

It took them another few seconds and they managed to have him mostly dressed.  J'onn moved towards the door and looked back at her.  "See if you can wake him, I'll take care of the guards--"

 

"J'onn--"

 

"I'll be fine," he promised with a wink before disappearing.

 

Alex slipped the blue terry cloth slippers with the flimsy rubber soles onto her father's feet before moving to cup his face.  He looked nearly like she remembered, maybe a little grey and some wrinkles...but still her dad.  "Dad, it's Alex...you have to wake up.  We're going to take you home," she told him and shook him a bit.  "Please?  Just open your eyes.  Look at me."  She huffed and looked around, she was trying to think of what she could do.  "Dad!" Alex shouted.  "Wake up!  Open your eyes and look at me!"  Her fingers were wrapped in the light blue scrub material of his shirt.  Tears slid down her eyes as she thought that this was it, this was what Cadmus had left of her father...an empty shell.

 

"I'm sorry," Alex said as she lowered his body back into a horizontal position and then turned away.  "I wanted to take you home...to mom...to Kara...for myself…"  She run her hands over her face, pushing away the tears that were still on her face.  

 

"Kara?" came the hoarse voice.

 

Alex whipped around and stared at her father's form.  "Dad?" she whispered.  She couldn't be sure that she'd actually heard him.  Was she imagining it?  Hallucinating it?  Then she saw him move ever so slightly.  She moved to his side, his eyes were open and he looked so confused.  "Hi," she croaked with a bright smile as she stared down at him.  She wasn't sure if she'd ever been this happy.

 

Her father just stared at her for a long time.  Jeremiah was silent.  His eyes searching.  "Who are you?"

 

Alex gasped and was taken aback by that.  She knew that she shouldn't be surprised, but she was just the same.  "It's me," she whispered.  "Alex."  When he seemed even more confused, she added more.  "Your daughter."

 

Jeremiah pushed himself up to a sitting position and stared at her.  "My daughter is fourteen."

 

"No," Alex whispered.  "That was twelve years ago, Dad…  They've had you--"

 

There was gunfire in the hallway and she knew that they needed to go.  Alex pulled her weapon out and was ready to aim if anyone came in.  She didn't think anyone would get past J'onn, but she knew she needed to be ready.  No matter what her father thought, they needed to get him out of there.  They could explain everything after they were out of the facility.  Alex knew if nothing else, taking him to Midvale...him seeing the house...seeing mom...that would seal it all for him.  He'd realize that she was telling him the truth.

 

"I don't have time to explain," Alex said as she set her weapon down on the table, helping him to a standing position.  He wasn't steady at first and she knew that he would need a moment before she pushed him to walk.  They needed to walk, to move.  "I  _ am _ your daughter, _ Alex _ .  I came here to  _ rescue  _ you--"

 

"I don't need to be rescued."

 

"What's the last thing you remember?" she asked as she looked at him.

 

"Peru."

 

"You were with Hank Henshaw...the DEO," Alex said.  "He was pursuing an alien that he had been obsessing about...and then you realized that he wasn't bad.  He wasn't dangerous--"

 

"You don't know what you're talking about--"

 

" _ I do _ ," Alex told him, frustrated and upset that he wouldn't or couldn't recognize her.  "That man...that _ alien _ that you knew wasn't a threat...the one that reminded you of Kara...J'onn J'onzz...he's here...he's in the hallway keeping us safe right now and we're going to take you  _ home _ ."  

 

"Alex!" she heard J'onn call.

 

She turned towards the door and took a couple of steps towards it before she heard something she hadn't expected to hear.  Her father had grabbed the gun from the table, she'd been distracted and had forgotten it there.  Alex turned back and her father was holding the gun on her.  "Dad," she whispered.  "Please…"

 

" _ My Alex  _ is a little girl," Jeremiah told her firmly.  

 

Her heart broke and raced at the same time.  She held up her hands, trying to buy time.  She knew that J'onn was listening, or whatever it was that he did when he was monitoring her thoughts, and he had to know what was going on now.  He had to know that she was in trouble.  He'd be coming for her, he'd be the proof that her father needed--

 

There was a clatter behind them and then a gunshot.

 

"Jeremiah!  No!" J'onn shouted from behind her.  

 

"Hank?" her father questioned.

 

Searing pain radiated from the gunshot wound as Alex started to feel her body realizing what had happened.  She didn't hit the floor, though, she found that she was cradled in arms and J'onn in his true form was staring down at her.  "It's not that bad," she whispered.  It was a lie and he had to know that, he had to be able to sense or feel or whatever her pain.  Tears clouded her vision for a moment as she heard people coming.  "You go.  Take my dad.  Take him and keep him safe."

 

"I'm not leaving without you," J'onn told her.  "I promised you I'd bring Jeremiah home, but I also promised him to look after you as if you were my own...and I will  _ never _ stop keeping that promise."

 

"They're coming," she breathed.  

 

When J'onn moved repositioned her weight in his arms and stood with her, she saw for a brief moment the look on her father's face.  It was of so many emotions and among them was absolute guilt and grief.  Alex wondered for a beat if he'd realized what he'd done, if he realized that everything he thought was reality wasn't actually that anymore...that time had passed.  

 

"We're leaving," she heard J'onn gruffly tell her dad.  

 

They were running and she barely remembered guards being barreled out of the way before they were finally outside.  Outside there were more troops, backup of all different kinds, but that didn't matter.  There was one thing that they couldn't take from them.

 

The sky.

 

"Just hold on, Alex," J'onn whispered to her before she remembered the sensation of flying (it was something that she realized she missed) and the darkness.  It was the last thing she remembered before finally blacking out.  

  
  


*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

  
  


TBC…

  
  



	2. A Father's Guilt

"We have to take her to the hospital!"

 

"We can't."

 

"What do you mean, you can't?!"

 

J'onn was trying to push out Jeremiah's frantic panic.  His concern and concentration needed to be on Alex.  He'd flown them to where he and Alex had hidden the night before.  It hadn't been far, but there were also a lot of cons involved.  She was still bleeding, but he'd managed to slow the bleeding.  The bullet was inside of her and she had only woken up briefly here and there.  She was in pain and she was getting colder and colder.  

 

"We're  _ on the run _ ," J'onn tried to explain after a moment.  He looked over at Jeremiah Danvers.  He'd shot his own daughter, but of course...J'onn knew that he was confused.  He didn't seem to remember.  Though, J'onn hadn't tried to look into Jeremiah's mind, he knew that what he was saying, that he didn't remember had to be right.  The problem was that it wasn't helping them get medical assistance of some kind for Alex.  

 

"She's getting so white," Jeremiah whispered.  When J'onn looked over, he noticed the tears falling down the man's face.  "Is she  _ really  _ Alex?   _ My Alex _ ?"

 

"I promised you all those years ago that I'd look after your girls, like they were mine.  I've done that," J'onn told him.  "This is Alex Danvers...and she needs you to pull yourself together."  One thing was for sure, though, Jeremiah was right about Alex's pallor.  She was so pale and he didn't like it either.  "Maybe I can--"

 

"Eliza."

 

"What?"

 

"Eliza, my wife...she's--"

 

"She's still alive," J'onn confirmed quickly, cutting him off.  "She still lives at your house in Midvale."

 

"Can we go there?"

 

"They're going to be keeping an eye on the place," J'onn said as he thought about it.  They'd  _ think _ to look for them there.  Right now, though, J'onn could chance that.  If they were in Midvale, then at least it would be Lucy Lane and the DEO coming for them...and Kara.  He knew that that was a better option than being spotted and detained by anyone else.  "Your wife, do you think she could help?"  

 

J'onn knew that Jeremiah, Eliza, and Alex were all PhD holders, all of them were Doctor Danvers, but it wasn't in the type of medicine they needed right now.  Could it be enough?  Right now, J'onn was fairly sure that just having a fairly stocked first aid kit, comfort, warmth, and family might just be enough to bring Alex's color back into her cheeks and heal.  "Midvale then," he said.  

 

He knew where. 

 

"Hold on, Alex," J'onn breathed as he gathered her up in his arms.  "I'm taking you home."

 

He turned to find that Jeremiah didn't look like he was doing too well himself.  The man had sunk to the floor and was staring at the dried blood on his hands.  "Eliza...what will she think?"

 

"Right now, we have to focus on getting Alex help," he said firmly.  They didn't have time for this.  Not now.  They could discuss the fact that Jeremiah had shot his own daughter...later...after Alex was feeling better.  He grabbed Jeremiah and took off.  

  
  


*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

  
  


"You could go," he heard her barely whisper.

 

J'onn looked down at her as he transformed into the form of Hank Henshaw.  "I am  _ never  _ going to leave you, Alex."  He didn't care the consequence.  If he had to be kept in a cell for the remainder of his life, at least he would know that he not only ensured Alex's continued survival but also the reunion of the Danvers family.

 

As they moved closer to the house, J'onn knew that they needed to act.  "Get the door," he instructed firmly to Jeremiah.  He carried Alex and stared down at her, listening to every breath she was taking, and studying her face.  Her eyes were open now, looking upward at the stars.  

 

"Home," Alex breathed.

 

J'onn nodded as he moved towards the house.  "You're going to be okay.  I'll make sure of it."

 

Jeremiah had the door open, J'onn had noticed him searching for a key.  At least it seemed to be in the same place so they didn't have to wait or break down the door (which he was more than willing to do).  Jeremiah went through the door, turning on lights.

 

"What the he--Jeremiah?  Oh my God!  Jeremiah?!" Eliza exclaimed from inside.

 

"We don't have time," he heard Jeremiah say.

 

As he stepped into the house with Alex in his arms, he saw a whole range of emotions cross Eliza Danvers' face, but right now...they needed to focus on Alex.  "She's been shot," J'onn announced.  "The bleeding has slowed, but--"

 

"She needs a hospital," Eliza proclaimed as she came closer.

 

"It's not an option at the moment," J'onn said.

 

Eliza didn't ask questions (they'd likely come later) and motioned for them to follow her.  Jeremiah laid Alex on the dining table once Eliza had moved the bowl of fruit and table runner off of it.  He was gentle and pulled back the makeshift bandage to show Eliza Danvers exactly what they were dealing with.  

 

"How long?"

 

"Probably about an hour ago."

 

"Alex?  Honey?  Can you say something for me?" Eliza spoke, moving to her daughter and cupping her face.  

 

He could see that Alex's eyes were still open, but she looked tired.  He knew that that wasn't good.  Alex still looked so pale and sick.  J'onn waited, knowing that Eliza Danvers would do anything to save her daughter, so these moments she was taking to talk to Alex, it was for a reason.

 

"Mom?" Alex pushed out.  "J'onn...where's J'onn?"  Her head started to roll back and forth in Eliza's hands, as if she were looking for him.

 

Instead of moving forward, he reached out and took the hand near him.  "I'm here, Alex."  He didn't care that Eliza glared at him.  Instead, he merely spoke gently.  "It's a long story."

 

"Which you are going to explain," Eliza said as she moved back to look at her daughter's gunshot wound.  "You are both going to explain once Alex is stable," she said as she glanced from J'onn to Jeremiah.

 

"What can we do now?" J'onn asked.

 

"Jeremiah, get me the first aid box," Eliza said.  

 

Jeremiah disappeared, wherever they stored the first aid box, it must not have changed in all those years.  At least, he was able to help.  That was all that J'onn wanted and needed in that moment.  

 

"You said she can't go to a hospital," Eliza stated as she continued to look at the wound.  "She's lost blood--"

 

"I would gladly donate blood, but I don't think my  _ alien _ blood is compatible," J'onn commented and earned himself a quick shocked glance up from Eliza.  What he wouldn't give to be able to transfer his healing abilities to Alex.  

 

"How much pain has she been in?" 

 

"She's been mostly silent," J'onn responded sadly.  "Which worries me."

 

Eliza nodded.  "It worries me, too."

 

"What if I could get blood and pain medication from the hospital?" J'onn questioned.  Eliza met his gaze.  "I'm a shapeshifter...I could go in...get what we needed...and bring it back here...just as quickly as Kara could get here."

 

Jeremiah set the large red plastic medical box on the table and was immediately opening up the top of it.  He was shuffling through the items, but Eliza's eyes never left J'onn's.  

 

"I'm going to write down her blood type and the pain medication and what else they might have in the same area that I'm going to need," Eliza said.  "Are you sure--"

 

"I will get it," he said firmly and confidently.  He wouldn't fail Alex.  

  
  


*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

  
  


When J'onn returned, he found Alex sobbing.  There was blood all over the Danvers' wooden dinner table, Eliza was cleaning.  Jeremiah was in a corner and looked like he was about ready to break down.  He came into the house in his true form, so that Eliza Danvers could see him, before finally transforming into Hank Henshaw's form.  He had gotten all of the items on the list and just hoped that it would be enough.

 

"Did you get it?" Eliza questioned the moment he arrived.  She stared at him for a long moment before holding out her hand.

 

He handed over the bag of supplies he'd brought.  

 

"Let's get her up to her bed, make her more comfortable," Eliza instructed.  

 

J'onn didn't wait to see if Jeremiah was going to move or not and gently picked up Alex and moved in the direction of the stairs.  He might have  never stepped foot in the Danvers home before, but he'd seen it enough from the outside to know where Kara and Alex's room was.  He was careful and slow with her and he could tell that the moment she saw him that she was trying to keep her pain inside.  "Alex, do you want me to call Kara?" he asked in a whisper.

 

Alex and Kara were close, closer than any sisters he'd ever seen, and they'd been separated for  _ weeks _ now.  It'd been the longest they'd been separated for some time.  He knew that Alex had been having a hard time before this all happened, he had no idea how Kara was doing but could guess.  Right now, Alex really needed her sister.  

 

"No," Alex breathed and then huffed out a cry before squeezing her eyes shut.  

 

He hated to see her in so much pain or pain at all.  J'onn was taking Eliza's lead.  She was pulling back the blankets, but she laid out a quilt before arranging the pillows.  Once she took a step back, he moved and laid Alex down.  He watched as Eliza pressed the back of her hand to Alex's cheeks.  She was likely checking her temperature.  To J'onn, Alex had still felt cold.  

 

"You're going to be okay, Alexandra," Eliza whispered with so much love and concern.

 

"What else can I do?" J'onn asked.

 

Eliza looked around.  "Where's Jeremiah?"

 

"I can go get him," J'onn offered.

 

"Tell him we need a hook, nail, and hammer.  In the toolbox, we should have all of that," Eliza told him.

 

He didn't stay to ask anymore questions.  Instead, J'onn headed downstairs and found Jeremiah where he'd been before.  It wasn't the time.  Jeremiah could have a meltdown or whatever he needed to do, but  _ after  _ they got the blood started and the pain medication into Alex.  He moved over to Jeremiah and grabbed him by the shoulders and shook him lightly.  "You've got to pull yourself together, Jeremiah," he said sternly.  

 

"How am I supposed to tell Eliza that I shot our own daughter?" Jeremiah whispered.

 

"Right now, all she wants is the toolbox," J'onn said calmly.  "She needs a hook to put into the wall to hold up the IV bag."  He looked right into Jeremiah's eyes.  "Alex  _ needs _ you right now.  She has to have that in order to get better.  You need to pick yourself up and _ help her _ . "  

  
  


*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

  
  


Once Eliza had administered the pain medication, Alex seemed to relax.  The hook was set up on the wall beside Alex's bed with the IV bag.  The three of them stood watch, holding a silent vigil for nearly an hour before one by one, they left the room.  He was the last to leave, right behind Jeremiah.  

 

"Now, you two are going to tell me  _ everything _ ," Eliza said firmly.

 

J'onn sighed and looked over at Jeremiah.  "From the beginning," J'onn said.  There was a long pause before he began the story.  He explained everything that had happened all those years before.  How Jeremiah had been stabbed, how the real Hank Henshaw had been pushed over the cliff, and how J'onn had thought that Jeremiah had died.  He'd gone on to explain why he'd taken on the image of Hank Henshaw and how he'd pushed to reform the DEO.

 

"He made me a promise," Jeremiah added.  "And as far as I can tell, he's kept it."

 

"What promise?" Eliza questioned.

 

"To protect our girls--"

 

"Like they were my own," J'onn finished.  

 

"Then why recruit Alex to the DEO?" Eliza demanded.  She didn't seem so upset anymore, but she clearly wasn't pleased.  

 

J'onn gave it a moment.  "I wanted to keep her close in order to protect her.  When I thought it was time, she was having a hard time at university--"

 

"Of course she was struggling.  She felt lost.  She needed Jeremiah."

 

"Eliza," Jeremiah said and for the first time, he moved closer to his wife.  His hand reached out and touched her arm.  

 

"I trained her.  I wanted to make sure that she was strong...she was already intelligent and full of fire when I recruited her," J'onn said.  "I never expected to care about her and Kara so much."

 

"So, what happened?  How did she get shot?" Eliza demanded.  "What were you doing?  The DEO?  And where on Earth have you been, Jeremiah?!"

 

Now, Jeremiah took a step back.  J'onn could see the embarrassment and guilt color the man's face.  He was quiet for a long time, J'onn didn't want to answer...he wanted Jeremiah to be the one to explain at this point.  

 

"I shot Alex," Jeremiah finally whispered.

 

"You wouldn't--"

 

"I didn't know it was Alex," he explained.  "I can't remember anything past when I thought I was going to die…  I thought Alex was still fourteen and--"

 

"Oh, Jeremiah…" Eliza whispered with so much sadness.  She moved towards her husband, her hand running along his arm.  

 

"They've had him at a place they call Project Cadmus," J'onn spoke up after a moment.  "We're not sure what they did to him while he was there.  All we know is that he was unconscious when we found him, hooked up to IVs, and we barely got out of there."

 

Eliza pulled Jeremiah into her arms, her hands running in his hair and down his back.  Jeremiah Danvers just let it all out.  "Shh...you're home now…"

 

J'onn left them to go sit with Alex, they needed the privacy.

  
  


*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

  
  


He swore that Alex was looking better.  

 

Eliza had come in and checked on Alex, disconnected the IV, and had given her more pain meds after checking the wound.  Even if Eliza Danvers wasn't a trained medical doctor, he was impressed with her work.  She'd not said anything else to him, which J'onn had no problem with.  He was just glad that Jeremiah was home and that Alex was doing better.  

 

"Did you call Kara?" Eliza asked.

 

He looked back over at her, she was standing in the doorway, she'd been on her way out.  "No," he responded quietly.  "Alex didn't want me to."

 

"I don't understand."

 

J'onn sighed.  This part, they hadn't explained.  "Several weeks ago, Kara was exposed to red Kryptonite--"

 

"Is that why Supergirl went...evil?" Eliza said, the last word was obviously hard for her to get out.

 

"Yes," J'onn said.  "Alex and I went out with other agents in order to save Kara, to keep her from hurting anyone."  He was quiet for a long moment.  "Kara had knocked everyone away from Alex, including me.  Alex's arm was broken and the weapon that emitted what would neutralize the red Kryptonite was away from her.  Kara was standing there, ready to kill Alex with her heat vision...and I had to transform...in front of everyone in order to stop Kara.  She wasn't in her right mind."  He saw the look on Eliza's face, disbelief and horror.  "I saved Alex...and eventually we saved Kara, but they arrested me and put me in a prison."

 

"Why?  After all you'd done?"

 

"I was masqurading myself as Hank Henshaw and in charge of the DEO," J'onn explained.  "Not a position they want an alien to have...and I couldn't tell them that Jeremiah had technically killed Henshaw...I didn't want to tarnish his name or memory...and they would have never believed me anyways."

 

"And Alex?" Eliza questioned.  "Did she break you out?"

 

"I wouldn't have let her," J'onn admitted with a smile.  "I told her to lie to them and she did...but someone saw through it...they figured out that Alex knew about me...that I wasn't really Hank Henshaw.  They were taking us to Project Cadmus when we were saved by Kara and another in disguise…  We've been on the run ever since…"

 

"But you _ went  _ to Project Cadmus--"

 

"The man who was taking us there, I...I erased his memories of what had happened...and when I was inside his mind, I saw Jeremiah...that he was alive," J'onn admitted.

 

"You can erase memories and see into people's minds?" Eliza breathed in shock. 

 

"It is not something I like using," J'onn told her.  

 

"Kara--"

 

"If we contact Kara, the DEO might come here and arrest me...and Alex."

 

Eliza gasped.  "So, you're just going to be on the run?"

 

"I'm going to figure out how to get Alex so that she's safe to come home...to see Kara...but we need more time," J'onn explained.  "Perhaps Jeremiah can corroborate my story...at least, it would allow Alex to be safe...to be able to go back to the DEO."

 

"And what about you?"

 

"My fate is sealed."

 

"Is it?"

 

J'onn stared at Eliza Danvers.  He was more than okay with whatever happened to him as long as the girls were okay.  "Alex is more than capable of taking care of herself.  She and Kara can do anything together.  You raised two very capable young women."

 

"I think I had a little help."

 

She left and J'onn looked back to Alex still asleep.  He just hoped that it was all enough.  J'onn waited until he knew that the Danvers were far enough before he started to sing the lullaby that he'd sung Alex before.  

 

Now, they had to wait.

  
  


*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

  
  


Three days passed and Alex's improvement was enough to ease everyone's fears.  J'onn had spent most of his time at her side.  Eliza and Jeremiah had spent much of the time Alex was unconscious talking and catching up.  

 

"You didn't sing to me."

 

"I've spoiled you."

 

He looked over to see Alex grinning.  Even though it had been three days and Alex had gotten better, J'onn still saw something in her.  She wasn't healing quite enough.  She was still a little sickly looking.  

 

"How long until we have to move again?" Alex questioned.

 

She'd asked this question before.  

 

He'd avoided it then.

 

"Maybe _ you _ don't have to."

 

Alex just stared at him and he could see the wheels turning.  He could sense her argument bubbling up.  "J'onn--"

 

"I'm not doing anything today," J'onn assured quickly.  "I don't want you to worry about it."

 

"But--"

 

"I'm not leaving you until you're completely better," he explained.  "And even then, I won't leave without saying goodbye."

 

"Because you know I'll track you down--"

 

"I'm well aware."

 

And he was.

 

He and Alex had been through so much.  He'd been going over how to make a deal with Lucy (and with those she answered to).  He was trying to put together a plan that would leave Alex free and to have her position back.  That's all he wanted, for her to be happy.  J'onn knew that Alex didn't really need him...she had her father back.  The girls both had Jeremiah back and they would all have so much catching up to do.

 

"Do you think Kara's okay?"

 

"Yes," J'onn answered instantly.  "I think that Eliza would have said something if she knew otherwise and I think your sister stays in regular contact with her."

 

"She does," Alex confirmed.  "She's better at it than I am."

 

"You don't like to keep the secrets."

 

"Sometimes they're necessary."

 

"Sometimes."

 

"But we don't keep secrets."

 

She was staring at him now and he knew what she was waiting for, she was waiting for his response to know that he wouldn't leave without her...or without telling her.  J'onn knew that it was hurting Alex to think about it.  They'd grown so close, he loved those girls so much.  "I promise," he told her before leaning in and pressing a kiss to her forehead.  

  
  


*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

  
  


"Alex!  Wake up!"

 

The sound of Eliza shouting woke J'onn.  He'd fallen asleep downstairs in a chair and when his eyes snapped open, he realized it was still pitch black outside.  He was hurrying up the stairs, his heart pounding.  

 

Alex.

 

His mind immediately searched for hers.  

 

She was still unconscious.

 

"Alex!"

 

Eliza's voice just sounded more frantic and that made it so much harder than he couldn't just blink and be there.  He entered the room and found the bedroom light on.  He saw Alex, lying in bed.  She'd looked fine to him, still sickly, but fine when he'd sung her to sleep.  Jeremiah was at Alex's side and J'onn felt like an outsider.

 

Alex's face had a sheen to it from sweat, her pallor seemed lighter and sicklier, and she was tossing slightly in bed mumbling something.  He could sense her distress and he knew that she was sick.  Something was wrong.  

 

"Alexandra," Eliza whispered upset.  "Please wake up.  Please…"

 

"What's wrong?" he asked.  "She seemed fine earlier."

 

"Infection," Jeremiah said as he pulled back the bandage.  They'd been changing it and keeping it clean.  J'onn hadn't thought to look at it, he had just thought that maybe Alex had lost more blood than they'd replenished and it was taking her longer to get better.

 

Eliza just started to pace.  

 

Panic.

 

It was practically being shouted by both of the Danvers elders.  

 

"She needs a hospital," J'onn said quietly.

 

"You said she can't go to one," Eliza reminded, tears streaming down her face.  "But she needs antibiotics and--"

 

"I'll arrange it," J'onn interrupted.  He looked over at Alex and his heart broke.  What he was going to do meant saving Alex, but she wouldn't agree with it.  He didn't need her permission, but he already knew that she wouldn't be the only one to argue about it.  "I'll need to use your phone."

  
  


*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

  
  


A small convoy of black SUVs arrived at the Danvers house along with Kara dressed as Supergirl.  He'd immediately sent her up to Alex's side, her sister needed her.  He'd talked to the new director and arranged for Alex to receive medical care and amnesty.  

 

"You're a good person."

 

J'onn smirked.  "I'm a little surprised to hear you say that."

 

Lucy shrugged.  "I've been hearing all about you and Alex from--"

 

"Kara?"

 

"And your other agents," Lucy filled in.  "I'm pretty sure Adler and Benanti were going to start a petition to have you both pardoned and reinstated at the DEO."

 

"They're good agents.  All of them."

 

"I have no idea how you do it all," Lucy confided.  "They've all been trying to help me, but you've had over a decade of experience and you rebuilt the DEO."

 

"I have faith in you, Director Lane."

 

Lucy just smiled at him. 

 

He saw them carrying Alex out on a stretcher, the entire Danvers family together once again.  He just wished that it had been on better circumstances.  "Will you let them go with her?"

 

"Jeremiah Danvers needs to be debriefed--"

 

"He doesn't remember anything."

 

"It still needs to happen."

 

"Eliza Danvers?" J'onn questioned.  "She's known about the DEO since Jeremiah was an agent."

 

Lucy nodded as she crossed her arms over her chest.  "I'll clear her."

 

"Thank you."

 

"I'm doing this for Alex," Lucy made clear.  "I'm sorry that you had to make this deal."

 

"Alex needs the help."

 

"I can't imagine the guilt that her father has to be going through."

 

Kara approached them, there was a look in her eye, and determination in her steps.  "There has to be another way."

 

"Kara--"

 

"He's a good man!"

 

"I know that," Lucy said as she held up her hands in defense.  "But he's still a fugitive and an alien who assumed the identity of a DEO agent for over ten years.  We're going to have to do things by the book and figure out a way to make it so that he's no longer considered a threat."

 

"How?"

 

"I don't know yet."

 

J'onn held out his arms to Kara. She'd always initiated hugs in the past, but he knew that the Kryptonian needed it.  It had been so many weeks since they'd seen each other and he'd promised to take care of Alex.  Now they were reuniting until horrible circumstances.  "Alex is going to be okay," J'onn whispered as he held her.  

 

"And what about  _ you _ ?" Kara questioned.

 

He just held her and tried to think of the right words.  Alex had always made a huge deal about how him coming out to the world as himself, his real self, would mean so much to Kara.  He had known ever since he and Kara had gone for their flying lesson exactly how  _ right  _ Alex had been and how important it  _ was _ to Kara.  "I know you don't like this arrangement, but I'll be close by and Director Lane will let you visit."

 

They separated and J'onn cupped Kara's cheek for a moment.  He just smiled at her.  How much she'd grown since she'd become Supergirl.  It felt like years and it wasn't nearly that long.  He had no idea how he had become so attached to the Danvers girls in that amount of time and how heavy it made his heart to know that he wouldn't be able to protect them as he once had.  

 

"It's time to go," he told Kara.  J'onn turned to Lucy and held out his arms so that he could be cuffed for transport.

 

"Yeah, we're not doing that," Lucy told him.

 

He just stared at her in confusion.

 

"I made a deal and you gave me your word."

 

"And I'll honor it," he insisted.

 

"Alex is going to ask for you when she wakes up," Lucy told him.  "I won't upset her after everything she's been through.  I won't cause waves in the DEO when you come in with us.  It's going to be a big enough adjustment for everyone to see you and to see Alex now.  The last thing I want to do is parade you in like criminals...because the three of us know the truth."

 

"Thank you," J'onn told her with a bow of his head.  

 

This was beyond what he'd expected.  He obviously wasn't going to be allowed to roam free or leave the DEO once he was there, but he appreciated what this meant.  This meant that the transition to his cell and his imprisonment would be made a little easier being able to be close to Alex while she got the medical help she needed.  He'd be able to talk to Kara.  He'd be able to be there when Alex asked for him.  He'd be able to feel like he wasn't some kind of criminal.  Though he knew his fate, he couldn't be more grateful for what Lucy was offering him.  

 

"Let's go," Lucy told them and motioned to the SUV they'd be going back to the DEO in.  

  
  


*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

  
  


TBC…

  
  
  



	3. Emotional Turmoil

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning: tissues will likely be needed.

The words.   
  
The story.   
  
The voice.   
  
Alex blinked and then squeezed closed her eyes when the bright light assaulted her eyes.  Slowly, she opened them, allowing her eyes to adjust to the brightness.  At first she thought she was in a hospital, but then she realized she was at the DEO.     
  
The words.

 

No--

 

He couldn't read any further…

  
She looked over to see J'onn there with a very familiar book.  "Stop," she whispered.   
  
He looked confused and Alex realized that he had gone to move the bookmark right before she said something.  "Alex?"   
  
"Where did you get that?" She asked as she held her hand out for it.     
  
"Your home."   
  
He handed it to her and Alex checked the page number before shoving the bookmark back into place.  That bookmark hadn't been moved for nearly eleven years.  "I--"   
  
"I didn't realize--"   
  
"No--"   
  
"You were thinking about it before we brought you here," J'onn confessed.  "I didn't know."   
  
He had obviously been monitoring her, but he hadn't meant any harm, Alex knew.  She held the book tight to her chest.  It was a hardcover, still pristine in its jacket with its array of book award medals on it.  It had been bought when it came out, her father had been reading it to her...but they had  never finished it.  The bookmark was still there, it hadn't moved.  She'd never been able to bring herself to finish it.  

 

_ The House of the Scorpion  _ by Nancy Farmer.

 

All those years ago, her father had been reading it to her.  It wasn't because the book was too hard because it wasn't.  It actually had been below her reading level at the time, but her father had been more interested in discussing the topics that the book covered.  They never finished it.  One day her father left, promising that they'd read it a couple of days later...and then he never came home.  

 

So, Alex had put the book on her shelf.  Once in awhile, she'd take it off and re-read the book herself up to the point where her father had left the bookmark between the pages.  She knew it was silly.  It was just a book, but reading it had been something special to her.  It had been something that only she and her father had done at the time, which was rare with Kara only being in their home for about a year at that point.  It was more about the memory of her father and that precious father-daughter time than the actual book or the actual story.  

 

Alex sucked in a deep breath, closing her eyes, holding the book, and then looked back at J'onn again.  He looked so upset.  Then it hit her.  How long had he been sitting there reading to her?  The book was a good size and there was less than one hundred pages left to read.  J'onn had made it all the way to the bookmark.  She knew that he must have done it because he had hoped that it would bring her some comfort and maybe it had.  "I'm sorry," she whispered.  "I didn't mean to--"

 

"You don't have to apologize," J'onn told her gently.

 

She reached up and brushed her hair back away from her face.  It hit her that they were at the DEO.  The realization that so much had changed.  The last she remembered they were hiding out at her parents' house in Midvale.  They were still on the run.  They could still be arrested--  A gasp escaped her as she looked around, she didn't see guards, but then the entire DEO was basically all people who could keep them there.  "J'onn--"

 

"We'll talk about what happened once you're feeling a little better," he told her.  "It's not as bad as you're thinking…"

 

Wasn't it?

 

She looked around wildly.  Alex could vaguely remember her parents and Kara--

 

"Alex?!" came Kara's high pitched, bright, and almost too peppy voice.  

 

When she saw her sister, there was such a sense of relief.  Her sister was dressed in normal civilian clothes and though Alex wasn't sure how to take that, all she wanted was a hug at that moment.  She reached down, looking for a bed remote in order to sit herself up some.  J'onn seemed to sense her slight distress and helped her.  She gave him a smile before opening an arm to Kara's incoming hug, her other arm keeping the book close.  

 

That hug was one that she'd been waiting far too many weeks for.  She squeezed her eyes shut, tears falling from her eyes as she crushed Kara (as much as Alex could) in a hug.  She didn't want to let go of her sister.  Her eyes started to open, she was certain that her parents had to be somewhere close...her parents...her father...he was alive…  

 

After all these years…

 

Her father was still alive.

 

That was when she caught J'onn out of the corner of her eye, getting up from his chair like he was making some kind of stealthy exit.  She reached out and grabbed him to stop him at the exact same time as Kara.  They both looked at him and pulled him into their hug.  

 

Alex knew that the two of them were going to have to have a talk, but it was going to have to wait.  She still needed to know so much of what had happened since she...well, she assumed she got sicker.  Alex remembered being better and her mother and J'onn coming to sit with her.  Her father had seemed to remain fairly absent during their time in Midvale and when he was in the room with them, he had always been silent.  

 

It was the fact that Kara was crying that caught Alex's attention.  It was a quiet and almost subtle crying.  Alex wasn't sure how else to describe it.  There was no way that Alex could miss it though.  Something was wrong.  Something that she hadn't been told yet.  "Kara?" she whispered and pulled back to look at her sister.  Alex was still holding onto J'onn with one hand.  She wasn't ready to let him go either yet.  "What's wrong?"

 

Kara just looked at J'onn.

 

That's when Alex started to put pieces together.  She knew who J'onn J'onzz was.  She might not know everything about him, but she knew he was a good man...an honorable man...someone who would do anything for her and Kara.  He had agreed to this.  There was some sort of deal.  "J'onn," Alex whispered sadly and waiting for him to correct what she was thinking.

 

He didn't.

 

He just looked at her in silence.

 

"I would never let anything happen to you, Alex," was all he finally said.

 

As she stared at him, his words just took her breath away.  There was a panic that was welling up inside of her.  Her hand moved along the lines hooked to her and started to yank at the lead, but Kara stopped her.  

 

"Whoa...whoa…" Kara freaked out a bit, pulling Alex's hand back.

 

"What's going on?  Alex?  It's okay, you're safe...you're--" But her mother and her words couldn't make this better.  Not even seeing her father there.  

 

Alex knew that  _ she _ was the reason that this was happening.  If she'd been stronger--

 

J'onn was suddenly holding her, she clung to him and let her tears fall.  She kept quiet though.  "It was  _ always  _ going to end like this…  This is how it  _ has _ to be...at least for now."  Alex didn't want to accept that.  She couldn't.  "I won't be far," he whispered as he pulled back and then pushed her hair back out of her face.  He smiled at her, but she couldn't be happy about this.  There were so many things--  "Once the doctors say that you're well enough, we're going to sit down with Director Lane and discuss things."

 

" _ J'onn _ \--"

 

"I made a promise and I'm going to keep it," he told her.  His hand was still holding her head, his thumb stroking her hair.  "Now  _ you _ make  _ me  _ one--"

 

" _ No- _ -"

 

" _ Alex- _ -"

 

" _ No, _ I  _ won't _ give up--"

 

"I'm not  _ asking _ you to," he said firmly and she could see that he needed her to hear him.  Alex didn't want to because that would mean that she'd have to let him go.  "I'm asking you to  _ wait _ , to let yourself heal, and  _ then _ ...when the _ doctors  _ say that you're  _ well enough _ to be released that  _ only then _ that you fight...because  _ I know you _ and I know that I can't ask you not to, but I can ask this of you because I can't be here to watch you…"  He looked over to the side and she could see Kara still standing in her peripheral.  "But I'll know…"  J'onn looked back to her, waiting.  " _ Promise me _ , Alex."

 

She didn't want to say it.

 

He'd have to go.

 

She didn't want him to go.

 

"I promise," she finally blurted out in a breath.  Alex's eyes squeezed shut as he pressed a kiss to her forehead before leaving, but she couldn't  _ watch  _ him leave.  She listened to his footsteps.  Kara was holding her a moment later and Alex clung to her sister, still unable to open her eyes, and eventually she cried herself to sleep. 

  
  


*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

  
  


"Eliza, I'm sorry--"

 

"Hush, Jeremiah...I don't blame you.  You were keeping our family...our girls safe."

 

" _ I shot Alex _ ...my little girl...I didn't--"

 

"Shh…"

 

The sound of her father crying and her parents speaking woke up, pulling her out of the darkness.  Alex took her time opening her eyes as everything came flooding back to her.  Her head rolled to the side, her un-IV-ed hand came up to cover her face, and she kept her tears back.  It wasn't just the memories of everything that had happened, but also the physical pain she was feeling.  She didn't want to let any of that show.  

 

"Alex," her mother whispered.  She felt her fingers combing through her hair at the back of her head, but Alex wasn't ready to look at them.  

 

Was she awful?

 

Alex knew that she should be happy and grateful that their family was reunited, but it had meant losing a member of a family that she and Kara had built.  It was because she hadn't been careful, if she hadn't been shot--  If she hadn't set the gun down--  If--

 

"Alex?  Sweetheart, please say something…" her mother pleaded softly.  

 

"How long have I been asleep?" she asked, still not looking at them.

 

"A few hours," she responded.  Eliza sighed and the bed shifted just a bit, Alex assumed that her mother was sitting on the edge as her mother now ran her hand down Alex's arm.  "You need the rest to heal."

 

"I was fine...at the house," Alex said as she tried to think through what else she could have done differently.  She was mentally complying a list with all of the reasons why it was  _ her fault  _ that J'onn was imprisoned...and what would this  _ mean _ ?  Would he be turned over to Project Cadmus?  Shipped somewhere else?  

 

"I'm not a medical doctor, you know that, and we didn't have the supplies we really needed anyways," Eliza explained.  "There was an infection and you probably had lost a little bit more blood that we'd supplied back into you…  You could have died--"

 

"They're going to ship him away--"

 

"Right now, you need to focus on  _ you _ ."

 

"I want to see Kara...Lucy…"

 

"Alex--"

 

"I want to see Kara!" Alex cried out, her hands coming away from her face. 

 

Eliza took that opportunity to hug her, whether Alex wanted it or not.  Alex was trying so hard to hold it together, to tell herself all of the things that she'd have to prove to the doctor that she was okay to be released (this wasn't the first time she'd been shot).  

 

"Alex?  You're okay…" came her sister's worried voice.

 

Obviously Kara had stayed close by and had kept her hearing open.  Though, Alex was fairly sure that her sister could always hear her...if she called loud enough.  Alex clung to her mother for a moment and had noticed that her father had stayed back...back in the corner...keeping his distance from all of them.  Alex was certain that this had to be hard for him and though she knew that it wasn't his fault about shooting her, he'd been confused and he hadn't known, but right now...she wasn't ready to embrace him or talk to him.  That seemed so awful, but she just couldn't…  

 

It was a silent punishment she was issuing to herself and to him.

 

Her mother finally released her and there seemed to be this silent conversation between all four of them.  The Danvers family was finally reunited after all of these years...and yet it didn't feel anywhere near to a reunion.  Her mother ran her fingers along her cheek and gave her a small smile.  

 

Eliza turned towards her husband.  "Come on, Jeremiah," her mother said as she moved out of the room, grabbed Jeremiah at the door and pulling him along with her.  

 

This left just her with Kara.  

 

"Hey, you're okay," Kara whispered as she moved to the space where Eliza had been before, but crawled up into the small space before wrapping her arms around her sister.  Kara's body was pressed against hers and Alex just closed her eyes and held onto Kara.  

 

Midvale really wasn't _ that _ far from National City, but the last two years...the person in their family that she'd been closest to had been Kara.  So having her there, it was like being home.  It was like the other half of her was back where it belonged.  "I missed you…"

 

"How much do you remember before?" Kara whispered the question.  

 

"All of it...if you're talking about J'onn."

  
She heard her sister sigh and Alex wondered if Kara had hoped otherwise.  "It's complicated, but I promise you...he's here...and he's being taken care of…"

 

"Tell me everything?"

 

"I thought you promised--"

 

"You can tell me what happened...what the deal was between him and Lucy," Alex whispered.  "I  _ have _ to know, Kara.  I can't just lay here and act like it didn't happen because it did...and it was because of me…"

 

"They should have called earlier...I could have at least come and have gotten you," Kara said gently, but with slight frustration in her tone.  Alex turned so that they were face to face.  Her sister's finger stroked the side of her cheek.  "You could  _ died _ , Alex.  Do you  _ realize _ that?  Jeremiah would have been responsible...and J'onn...he wasn't going to lose you and he wasn't going to have your  _ father _ responsible for it…"

 

She just stared at her sister for a long bout of silence, none of them talking.  

 

There was this solace of just being there, she didn't care who looked on.  Alex was more than certain that her co-workers all knew how much she cared about her sister and no one was going to judge, and if they did...it was their problem.  Right now, this was just what Alex needed.  As much as Kara always said that she needed _ her _ , the truth was...Alex needed her sister too...and that was _ never  _ going to change.  They'd been apart for  _ weeks  _ and in all that time, this is what she'd been craving...this simple silent physical contact with her little sister that spoke volumes to her soul.  

 

"I love you," Kara started.  "And I know you're worried about J'onn, but trust me, Alex...it's going to be okay."  Alex just stared at her sister, craving more than that.  Kara  _ knew _ that Alex trusted her.  That wasn't the question here, it was what had happened...what had been traded because of her.  A sigh escaped her little sister's lips and Alex knew it was coming.  "J'onn asked for you to receive immunity...he wanted you to be able to have your job at the DEO...he wanted you to receive medical treatment...and in exchange...he turned himself in."  

 

Alex went to say something, but her sister pressed a finger to her lips to stop her.

 

Kara's expression was serious as she continued.  "But Lucy's trying to do everything she can to get J'onn seen as a refugee...to see the  _ good _ he's done, to see the evils that he's  _ stopped _ ...to see that the  _ real _ Hank Henshaw was a  _ monster _ ...what he did to Jeremiah…"  Kara's finger slid away and her face softened.  "I know you've been gone and that you don't know Lucy as anything more than  _ Major _ Lane, but she's a  _ good _ person, Alex...and she's told J'onn that he can come and see you and that we can have access to him at anytime…"

 

"It won't work."

 

"Do you have so little faith in her?  In the DEO?  In all of us?" Kara questioned.

 

Alex just stared at her sister in confusion.

 

"Don't you think that  _ every  _ one of us is working on this?  Lucy, me, Vasquez, Adler, Benanti, everyone...everyone wants J'onn back...they don't care that he's an alien.  I mean, I think people were a little surprised, but it's not the same and everyone knows that.  He recruited every single person in the DEO and he changed their lives."  She paused for a moment before continuing.  "Lucy's been talking to J'onn, Eliza, Jeremiah...looking through files...going through every mission and every decision J'onn's made as the director of the DEO.  We're going to figure this out, Alex, it's just going to take  _ time...trust.. _ .and _ faith _ ."

 

Faith.

 

"It's not fair."

 

"I know."

 

"He did it for me."

 

"I know," Kara whispered.  "He would have done it for either of us…"

 

"You're bulletproof," Alex reminded with a small smile.  

 

"Not if it's Kryptonite bullets."

 

Alex just smiled and shook her head lightly at it.

 

"If you behave, I'm sure that J'onn could come and visit you a little later," Kara offered.

 

"I always behave."

 

"Sure, if you say so…"  

 

Silence filled the space again.

 

Just her and Kara, together.  No one else.  She found it easier to shut out the world around her if she just focused on her sister.  

 

"You know, you can't just shut them out...they're your parents, Alex...and Jeremiah--"

 

"I know," she whispered as she squeezed her eyes shut.  "I know…  I'm just not ready yet."

  
  


*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

  
  


"Hey."

 

"Hi."

 

"How are you feeling?" 

 

"Better."

 

And it was the truth.

 

"Where's dad?" 

 

Eliza sighed.  "I think he's worried that you're both going to hate him…"

 

Alex straightened up.  "I thought Kara--"

 

"No," Eliza said quickly, yet gently.  "She's kept her distance…  I think she's waiting...to see how you would react...if you'd accept him or push him away."

 

That made sense, Alex thought.  She and Kara had been so close...and it would be awkward for one of them to be distant from her father and the other be completely accepting.  It was more than that, Alex knew, it was because J'onn had become like a father to both of them…  Kara had been through three fathers now...and she likely didn't want to get her heart broken again if Alex couldn't accept her father back into her life.  That wasn't fair.  

 

Alex kept it together, though.  She was quiet and soft as she spoken to her mother.  "I know this has been a lot for you--"

 

"It's been a lot for you, too," Eliza finished quickly.  "But after everything that's happened...I'm glad that you had J'onn J'onzz to look after you both even if I didn't understand for so long…"

 

"Dad--"

 

"I know it all, Sweetheart," her mother said as she set a hand on her daughter's.  "He doesn't remember...and I know he wishes he hadn't been gone all of that time...but he was...and now, we have this second chance...all of us…"

 

And she was right.

 

It wasn't often that someone had second chances like this one.  

 

"And I know that he was the one who shot you--"

 

"He didn't know--"

 

"I know, I know," she said gently.  Alex was certain that her mother was doing her best to keep her calm.  There'd been so much upset and Alex knew exactly how emotional she'd been and how that had been so unlike her.  It likely was scaring everyone for her to be so out of control of her own emotions.  

 

"Do you think I could talk to him?  Just the two of us?" Alex asked as she tilted her head to the side.  

 

"I'm sure he'd like that, Sweetheart," she said gently.  Eliza reached out and covered her hand with hers before patting it for a moment.  "I'll go get him."  She watched her mother leave and Alex swore she saw some kind of hope on her mother's face.  

 

All she could think was that this was their one chance to be a family again and it seemed to hinge on her.  Alex didn't want that pressure, but at the same time...she understood that he didn't understand and he didn't know and that he didn't remember.  She couldn't even imagine what it had been like for him to be suddenly woken up from whatever they were doing to him and then be told that a woman was your daughter, when you remembered your daughter being a teenager.  

 

Time passed and Alex glanced over to see that the book that J'onn had brought from Midvale was sitting on her nightstand.  Alex wasn't sure when it had gotten moved or who had moved it, but the bookmark appeared to be in the same place.  She stared at it until there was a gentle knock.  

 

When she looked up, she saw her father standing there looking extremely hesitant and almost like he couldn't hold eye contact.  "Hi," Alex whispered.

 

"Hi," he echoed with a small smile.  Slowly, Jeremiah moved into the room and sat down in the chair next to her.  

 

"You've been hiding," Alex observed quietly, but in a way that was not accusatory.  "You don't have to hide…"

 

"I didn't want to be in the way," he responded.  "And I honestly didn't know that my place was here…"

 

"Why?" Alex asked.  "Because you shot me?"

 

"I thought that was a pretty good reason," Jeremiah told her honestly.  He was beyond sincere with that one and she could tell that there was so much guilt behind it.  "I shot my own daughter...I don't think that that kind of person deserves to be forgiven--"

 

"But _ I  _ forgive  _ you _ ," Alex told him clearly, calmly, and punctuating words.  "You were disorientated and confused and--"

 

"I should have known--"

 

"I don't look like Mom--"

 

"No, you've always looked like me," Jeremiah countered.  Alex smiled a little at that.  "I mean, I see your mother in you...especially when you get angry."  Alex smiled more at that.  "But your hair...your eyes...that's all from me…"

 

And he was right.

 

Growing up, she'd also always been closer to her dad...especially after Kara had arrived.  He'd always just been the parent that she'd gotten along better with and that they connected...he always understood her way of thinking.  

 

"I don't care about that, though…  You know that, right?  It was all worth it because we found you…  Because we have this other chance," Alex said, meaning every word of it.  

 

He was quiet and he was just staring at her, she knew he was thinking of what he was going to say next.  Her father had always seemed to know what were the right things to say.  "Do you know the real reason why I made sure that J'onn looked after you...all of you...as I thought I was going to die in Peru?"

 

Alex was confused and it took her a moment to find the words.  "I just thought--"

 

"When Henshaw came here...he wanted Kara...but I said I'd work at the DEO," Jeremiah told her.  "Things weren't easy under his command.  He only saw hate and never saw the good in the world.  In his mind, aliens were all evil...there was never any white in his black and white world.  Whenever he'd think that I was about to do something, and he was normally right, I'd be ready to report him or expose him somehow...but then I'd find pictures of you on my desk...pictures of you with Kara and your mom…  They were keeping tabs on you...all of you...and if I didn't cooperate," his voice broke and so did his resolve to hold it together.  He broke down crying for a moment.

 

Alex just blinked at that.  She'd never thought of it in that way.  At the time that her father had been "killed", Alex had been fifteen and all she'd known was that her father had died in a plane crash.  That hadn't been the truth, but that had been all she'd known.  There had been never any thoughts of her own life being put in danger…

 

How heavy it must have been for him to carry that…

 

How heartbreaking...

 

"I knew that Henshaw was dead...because I'm the one who pushed him over the cliff...but I couldn't know if he had any other orders in place in case he didn't return," Jeremiah got out through the tears.  "As I lay there dying, I just...I wanted you taken care of...so I gave J'onn my picture..I'd already told him about you and Kara...and I just wanted to know my girls were safe…"

 

She let that sit for a few minutes.  

 

Her parents had always been so strong, so to see her father break down like this was hard for Alex.  She also knew, given that she was so much like her father, how hard it had to be for him.  He had to feel like he was weak in front of her and so many other emotions that she'd been feeling.  Alex reached out and after a moment he took her hand.  Tears edged their way forward for Alex.  

 

"He did," Alex whispered.  "He saved me...and he was tough on me...he made me a better person...stronger...and he loved me."  She swallowed.  "And he never gave up on me and Kara, even when we disobeyed orders or rules or fought...and he kept us together…"

 

"And now I've been the cause of him being imprisoned...which is what I set out to keep from happening all those years ago…" Jeremiah whispered, tears still rolling down his face.

 

"I won't let him stay there, though," Alex told her father.  "And you have to tell Lucy everything about Henshaw--"

 

"I have," Jeremiah told her.  "It's the one place where I've felt like I've actually been useful."

 

"I missed you," Alex said with so much sadness and feeling a moment later, letting the tears fall.

 

"It doesn't seem like that long since I saw you, but I missed you, Alex...every time I walked out that door…"

 

"And I remember the last time you did."

 

"I promise you, I'll do everything I can to help get J'onn released--"

 

"I know," Alex whispered, tears rolling down her cheeks.  She tugged on his hand.  He seemed to understand and get to his feet.  She held out her arms to him and for the first time in so many years, Alex hugged her father again.  Her grip was as if she would never let him go, holding on for dear life, because she realized in that moment exactly how precious that hug was.  Squeezing her eyes shut, she tried to banish all of the bad and negative thoughts she'd ever had of him.  "I love you."

 

"I love you," Jeremiah whispered back.

 

All that mattered.

 

Her dad was home.

  
  


*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

  
  


TBC…

  
  



	4. The difficult patient & the morale officer

"How's she doing?"

 

Kara shrugged.  "She's not happy about things."  She was standing and pacing back and forth.  It was a little odd for him to see her not dressed as Supergirl in the DEO, but he knew that it was likely a little less stressful for Alex to see her sister dressed in civilian clothes as well.  "She's being a difficult patient, but it's Alex...so…"

 

He just smiled at her.  "But she's going to be okay."

 

"Yes," Kara said as she looked over to him with a smile.  "Thanks to you."

 

"I didn't--"

 

" _ You did _ ."

 

"Kara--"

 

"You did _ everything _ you could to _ protect _ Alex," Kara said fiercely.  "You and I both know that Alex can handle herself...and there was no way that any of us could have seen Jeremiah shooting Alex coming…"

 

"If I'd been more--"

 

"Ah!" Kara snapped quickly.  "Would you have ever thought Jeremiah would shoot her?"

 

"No."

 

"You need to come out of there...visit Alex.  She's talked to Jeremiah, but she's still miserable," Kara explained.  "She blames herself and it's just making the entire DEO miserable."

 

"How could it possibly affect the  _ entire  _ DEO?" J'onn questioned with a raised eyebrow.  Alex was in med bay, which meant that she was likely confined to her bed.  He didn't know how that could equal her affecting the entire DEO.  

 

Kara sighed and crossed her arms over her chest.  "Alex is _upset_ , Jeremiah and Eliza are _upset,_ _I'm_ upset...Lucy, I think _she's_ blaming herself for all of this too...and Vasquez, Adler, Benanti, and pretty much everyone else have visited her...it's like an infection... _spreading_ throughout the troops…"  She sighed again.  "I even brought in donuts from _Blue Star Donuts_.  Not even a _hint_ of a smile from _anyone_ ," Kara told him all too seriously.  

 

"Alex needs  _ this _ time with  _ her _ family."

 

Kara moved up to the glass until she was nearly touching it.  Her voice was too serious, but also sad.  Her big blue eyes looked pained, glossed over.  "When are you going to  _ realize _ , J'onn, that no matter what.. _.you _ ...are  _ always _ going to be  _ family _ to us?  That  _ we need you _ , just as  _ much _ as Eliza and Jeremiah…"

 

Before he could respond, though, Kara was leaving.  J'onn sighed and tried to think over what to do.  He'd told himself that he was going to sit in there, that was the agreement with Lucy (even though she'd given him clearance to move around the DEO).  He hadn't wanted to act like he had free run of the place and he certainly hadn't wanted to get Lucy in trouble (just in case General Lane were to unexpectedly show up).  

 

The girls  _ needed _ him.

 

He'd promised to look over them.

 

That hadn't changed.

  
  


*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

  
  


J'onn sat for some time, just thinking about what Kara had said.  He had no regrets in any of this.  The girls might not be pleased with the situation, but they were both safe.  He brought his hands up and rubbed his face, he needed to sleep.  It had been some time since he'd done that.  He'd been so on alert about Alex that when there was finally a chance for him to sleep, he'd been too hyped.  It wasn't just that though, he'd started to doze a couple of times in the last few hours but had startled himself back awake when the image of Alex shot, collapsing, and then her in his arms.  

 

He could have lost her.

 

It was too close.

 

J'onn sighed and paced for a moment.  He knew that he should sleep, but he was considering what Kara had said.  Alex needed to see him.  J'onn just couldn't bring himself to see her just yet, no matter what Kara said...he wanted the Danvers to have this time.  It had been so long since they'd all been together.  Alex most of al needed to be able to talk to Jeremiah, she'd been so close to her father…

 

Sitting back, he rested his head back against the glass of the cell.  He allowed his eyes to close and tried to focus on something happy.  His thoughts went to his wife and daughters on Mars, but shifted to Kara and Alex.  So, he thought about the girls...smiling...laughing...hugging.  The sound of the door opening caught his attention and he opened his eyes to find Eliza Danvers standing there.  

 

"Doctor Danvers," he greeted with a nod.

 

"I hope it's okay that I'm here," she said and seemed to be taking in the room.

 

"No one stopped you, so you should be fine," he commented.  He wasn't director of the DEO currently so he really had no say, but even Lucy would have guards on the Danvers if she was really concerned.  "What can I do for you?"

 

"I actually wanted to thank you...for everything you've done...everything you've given up...for my girls...for my family," Eliza told him as she moved closer.  "I know Alex isn't happy about how things are, but--"

 

"There was no choice to make," J'onn assured.  

 

Eliza seemed nervous.  "I promised Alex that I would do something, but I'm a little worried that I'm going to set off the alarms all over the base."

 

"If it's breaking me out--"

 

"No," Eliza said and pulled out a tube of cookies from her sweater pocket.  "I promised her I'd bring you these."

 

J'onn got up and moved to the cell door and barely pushed it, it swung open without any effort.  "Director Lane was serious about me being able to move freely about the base."

 

Eliza stepped up and handed him the tube.  "Alex said they were your favorites."

 

"They are," he said with a smile as he accepted them.  He looked up at Doctor Danvers.  "Thank you.  You'll tell Alex--"

 

"She wants to see you," Eliza said quickly.  "And I know you talked to Kara earlier...and she wouldn't talk to me…  The girls are so used to keeping secrets now, I think it's hard for them to let me in.  All I know is that both of the girls are upset and I honestly think it's harder for them that you're keeping your distance when you don't have to right now."

 

"Your family deserves the time--"

 

"My family it seems is incomplete," Eliza said with a smile.  "It wasn't twelve years ago, but eleven that you became part of this family…   _ You _ were there for Alex two years ago when I didn't know how to reach her,  _ you  _ gave her purpose and changed her life.   _ You _ helped Kara become Supergirl...and  _ you _ brought my girls closer together in the process.  You've  _ protected  _ them and treated them like yours.  You've basically agreed to give your _ life _ in exchange for Alex's.   _ All of this, _ out of a  _ promise  _ you made to Jeremiah after meeting him for the first time all those years ago in Peru."  Eliza shook her head and huffed a breath.  " _ The girls need you _ .  Like it or not, you're a  _ Danvers _ , J'onn J'onzz."

  
  


*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

  
  


He'd slept.

 

He'd eaten his cookies.  

 

He'd thought about what both Kara and Eliza had said.  J'onn had actually half expected Jeremiah to be standing there when he woke.  Lucy had popped in to check in on him, he could see the guilt that she carried.  She was certainly not her father's daughter, even though he was sure that her father would disagree with him.  He saw such promise in her and she'd done well enough (as far as he could tell) and Kara liked her.  

 

Sighing, he pushed the door open and stepped out.  Pausing for a moment, he half expected an alarm to blare (like Eliza had earlier), but it didn't.  He continued off the platform and towards the door.  It was time to sit with Alex.  He needed to see for himself that she was okay because he'd seen Lucy and he'd talked to Kara...and things were adding up.  As he walked through the DEO, he didn't miss the people who seemed to light up in greeting him (which was weird).  

 

"Oh!  Sir!" Benanti called.  "Sir!"  He turned to see her practically bouncing.  "Sir!"  He stopped and waited and she seemed to need a moment to collect herself before continuing.  "Sir, I was just wondering if possibly you needed anything…  I mean, I can get you whatever you need...snacks, comic books, regular books, books on tape, movies...you can totally use my Netflix or my Hulu…  I mean, I can give you recommendations, if you need them…" Benanti rattled off.  "Oh, do you like music?  I can totally let you borrow my iPod...though, I mean that really only works if you like musicals.  Do you like musicals, Sir?  I have pretty much every musical in alphabetical order...original broadway cast recording...revival cast...traveling cast...pretty much all the casts…"

 

"Benanti, breathe," Adler said as she came up behind the other agent and just handed her a donut.  "Sir," she said before handing him one as well and then moving on.

 

J'onn just looked between Adler's retreating form and them to Benanti again.  He took a breath before finally being able to speak.  "You do realize you don't have to call me 'Sir' anymore," he said gently.  

 

"I know, but it seems weird to call you anything else," Benanti told him honestly.  "And I mean...you're going to be director again, right?"

 

He smiled at her.  Each agent in the DEO currently, he'd recruited.  J'onn had handpicked each one and trained each one, he'd brought most of them in when they needed it most in life.  Benanti wasn't any different.  "No, Lara," he said quietly reaching out to touch her arm.  "But I hear that Director Lane is doing well."

 

"It's not the same as with you and Agent Danvers," Benanti said honestly.  

 

"Well, you have Agent Danvers back now," he reminded.  "Director Lane has promised me that she'll be able to return to duty."

 

"I sat with her earlier and she seemed...distracted...upset distracted," Benanti bounced for a second and motioned towards the med bay and then back to him.  "Wait, am I getting in the way?  Are you going to see her now?"

 

"I am."

 

"Ohmygosh, I'll let you go then," Benanti babbled on quickly before motioning for him to walk on.

 

He just gave her a nod and headed past her.  It was good to see that _ his  _ agents, he still thought of them as  _ his _ , were doing okay.  J'onn gave a nod of acknowledgement to other agents he passed until he made his way to med bay.  He noticed that Alex was somewhat dressed, she was wearing clothes from home (likely Kara had brought them) and sitting on the edge of the bed staring downward.  

 

Sucking in a breath, he moved into med bay and in Alex's direction.  The sound of his steps must have given him away because he watched as her head lifted and a hopeful expression spread across her face.  "J'onn," she whispered with so much happiness, it was almost as if she was channeling her sister's sugary sweet energy.  This was exactly why he'd done what he'd done, to ensure that Alex would strive and continue on...his life meant nothing if he couldn't even keep that promise...a promise that was originally given to her father but then that he'd made a promise to himself.  

 

"Alex," he greeted and sat down in the chair in front of her.  "You're looking much better."

 

"They want me to stay a couple more days just for observation," Alex told him seriously.  He knew that this was for his benefit, because by then she'd be able to fight for him to be released.  He didn't care about that.  All he cared about was that she was going to be well enough to go home and that that meant that she was definitely out of danger.  

 

"You and Kara should arrange for time off, go with your parents to Midvale for a few days," he suggested.

 

"Cat's not--"

 

"Alex," he said as he reached over and covered her hand with his.  "You should take some time off to go to Midvale."

 

She just stared at him.  "I'm not going to just forget--"

 

"I'm not asking you to," J'onn told her evenly.  He could tell that she was getting upset, which he honestly expected.  "I know you better than that, Alex.  I know that nothing will stop you and that you and Kara can be equally scary and determined when you need to be."  He paused for a moment.  "But you haven't seen your father in over a decade.  How much time have you spent with him since you've been at the DEO?"

 

She was quiet.  "Not long.  He's spent more time with Mom," Alex admitted.  "Kara's still keeping her distance from him even though I told her that it's just going to take time for all of us…"

 

"I know how close you and your dad were."

 

"That was so long ago, I'm different--"

 

"You have no idea how alike you and your father are," J'onn argued.

 

"I just can't go to Midvale and leave you here--"

 

"I'll be fine," he reminded.  "Benanti's offered me her Netflix account amongst a plethora of other entertainment options...and I know you've talked to Kara about the deal I made with Lucy.  She'll honor it, Alex...and I'll be here when you get back."

 

Alex just stared at him and then this immense sadness overtook her.  "There's  _ no  _ way that I can go there for some family reunion and not think about you in a cell," she told him honestly. 

 

And he knew she was right.

 

"You need it.  You all do."

 

"But Kara and I need  _ you _ too."

 

J'onn bowed his head for a moment.  He knew Alex and he knew what she was saying was absolutely true.  The girls, but Alex especially, would be far too distracted and likely emotional even  _ if _ he could convince them to go to Midvale.  "We went to Cadmus to save your father--"

 

"I just can't go," Alex told him in a way that stopped the conversation.  "Not yet anyways."

 

So they just sat there for a long time in silence.

 

"How long can you stay?" she finally asked as she stared at him.

 

"For as long as you need or want."

  
  


*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

  
  


When Alex woke, she was radiating with confusion.  Her head was in his lap, she was laying on her side, as he sat up on the medical bed with her.  She'd been in so much pain from skipping pain medication doses.  Apparently Alex had only accepted the pain medication when she was unconscious and there was _ no question _ that she needed it or when Kara or Eliza had been there.  The pain had snuck up and hit her hard.

 

"You need to be taking your pain meds," he whispered.  His tone hadn't been scolding, but rather one of concern.  

 

She just relaxed and lay there.  He was monitoring her mind, so he knew that she realized what had happened.  She remembered.  Before she'd passed out, he'd promised her that he wasn't going to leave her and so he'd stayed.

 

"I can't leave you alone for five minutes, can I?" he teased lightly.

 

There was the sound of a smile in her voice.  "You know it was  _ days _ , right?"

 

"You know that I'm going to make sure that you're not released too early now," he countered.  "And I'm going to have to make sure someone stays with you to make sure you're not pushing yourself and that you're accepting the pain medication."  He was serious too.  He wasn't going to have her punish herself or push herself.  Alex was still his agent, his responsibility, and his family.  

 

Alex groaned in response.  "I--"

 

"I know _exactly_ what you were thinking," he whispered.  Her head turned and their eyes met.  "I don't know where you would have gotten it into your head that you have to carry the weight of the world and sacrifice yourself.  You are so much more important and needed in this world than I am.  Your sister, my promise to your father, they weren't the only reasons why I recruited you, Alex.  It was what I saw _in_ _you_ …"

 

There was a knock and it kept Alex from saying anything, but maybe that was for the best.  Maybe Alex really needed to let what he'd said sink in.  He had no idea how such an intelligent, caring, strong woman like Alex could think so little of herself.  Sometimes Alex could be a little too selfless.  The world  _ needed  _ Alex Danvers, he just needed to keep reminding her of that.  

 

He looked over and saw Jeremiah standing there and J'onn could tell that he was afraid he was interrupting.  "Come in," he said and motioned for the other man to enter and then to the chair.  Alex needed this time with Jeremiah.  Carefully, he helped Alex sit up before he hopped off of the med bed.  Reaching out, he grabbed the book that he'd brought from Midvale and handed it to Jeremiah, who looked really confused.  Turning back to Alex, his hands cupped her face and he pressed a kiss to her forehead.  "Behave," he whispered.  "I'll know if you're being a difficult patient."

 

With that, he left them.

 

He picked up his donut that Adler had given him earlier.  He'd stashed it when he'd stepped inside Alex's room.  J'onn happily ate it as he moved back in the direction of his cell.  The entire time, his mind kept open and focusing on Alex and her father.  

 

They were going to be okay.

 

Alex would be okay.

 

That was all that mattered.

  
  


*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

  
  


"We're having a movie night."

 

"That's really not necessary."

 

Lucy's amused voice filled the room.  "Is there a party that I'm missing?" 

 

J'onn sighed.  "Agent Benanti is just trying to make sure that my passage of time staying at the DEO full time is complete with entertainment."

 

"It's education," Benanti assured Lucy.  "I mean, ' _ The Mummy' _ ...' _ Jurassic Park'. _ ..they're classics…"

 

"I'm still not thrilled that they have a different actress as Evie in the third movie," Lucy said.  "And I mean, who doesn't like mummies and dinosaurs?"

 

They were the sweetest ever.  

 

J'onn appreciated more than he could say that they were all treating him like a friend rather than a prisoner.  Lucy had surprised him on so many different fronts since he'd come back into the DEO in her custody.  He was fairly certain that Benanti had declared her morale officer of the DEO, as much as he wanted to dissuade her from doing so...he knew that everyone needed it.  It wasn't just Alex, Kara, or even him that needed a morale boost, but the  _ entire _ DEO.  Never before had he realized how just one person being miserable could affect the world around them.

 

"I mean, as long as they're only on TV...I'm not ready to tackle any of those in real life," Lucy put out there a moment later quite seriously.

 

He just smirked at them both.

 

All he could think was that if this was it, if this was the end of his road, he was glad that he was leaving the DEO in all of their capable hands.  Never had he thought through the years as he masqueraded as Hank Henshaw that he would ever be so confidant in all of the agents that he'd trained...and even in one that he hadn't.  The truth was, even though he'd hand picked all of the DEO agents and trained them himself, Alex and Kara... _ the Danvers sisters _ ...Supergirl...all of it that was his two daughters, they were the  _ real _ beacons of light that had transformed the DEO into a _ family _ that he could be proud of.

 

"I'd tell you that they're not real," J'onn told Lucy with a small smile.  "But you above all others should know that anything is possible."

  
  


*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

  
  


TBC…

  
  



	5. Midvale Moments

"It's sort of weird, all of us being back here, right?"

 

"Yeah," she whispered softly as her head rested atop her knees.  Alex was sitting on her bed, her legs pulled to her chest and her arms wrapped around them.  She still felt this huge weight of guilt for leaving National City and leaving J'onn in the DEO prison.  She, of course, knew that Lucy was treating him well...and nearly unlike a prisoner...but it was still so hard for her.

 

"Alex?"

 

Lifting her head, Alex turned to look at her sister.  Kara looked concerned and she knew why.  "I'm okay," Alex said gently.  Kara sat on the edge of her bed just the same looking like she didn't believe her.  "I'm fine."

 

"You know that I know you better than that," Kara reminded.

 

"I've gotten the one thing that I wished and dreamed about for over a decade now...and I feel so horrible because I would give it all back to have things done differently."

 

Kara got the saddest expression on her face all of the sudden and her hand covered Alex's.  Her sister wouldn't even look at her.  "You're not the reason why J'onn's in the DEO prison, Alex," she whispered.  " _ I am _ ."

 

"Kara--"

 

"I was on that Red Kryptonite--"

 

"That was because of  _ Max _ , that wasn't your fault--"

 

"I would have _ killed you _ , Alex--"

 

"I don't think you would."

 

Their eyes met and Kara's voice broke, "You _ know  _ I would have.  It wasn't me.  It was all the darkness inside of me.  In that dark place, there was no goodness or love for anyone...not even you."  Tears fell from Kara's eyes and as much as Alex hated to admit it, she knew that Kara was right.  Under the Red Kryptonite, her sister had been a slave to all of her darker thoughts.  

 

They were just rehashing past events, ones that neither of them could change.  The truth was, there was nothing that they could do short of jumping into a TARDIS and going back to before Max had even made the Red Kryptonite.  Alex sighed and hugged her sister tight.  "Shh…"

 

"I'm sorry, Alex."

 

"Hush," Alex whispered as she held her sister.  "It's going to be alright…"

 

She had to believe that.

 

Back at the DEO, Lucy was putting together testimony and everything else in order to present it in defense of J'onn.  Alex had no idea what to expect the outcome to be, she just wanted him released (at least that would be a start).  

 

"Tonight," Alex spoke gently.  "You and I are going to do what we used to do...look up at the stars together…"  She pressed a kiss to the side of Kara's head.  "We haven't done that in a long time…"

  
  


*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

  
  


"Can I interrupt?"

 

Alex and Kara looked back from where they sat on the roof.  Jeremiah was standing there at the window with a plate of cookies.  She didn't even have to see her sister's face to know the reaction, big wide excited blue eyes and a wide surprised smile.  "It depends on what you've brought us," Alex teased.

 

"Nope, I'm really not picky," Kara said and patted the space beside her.  As soon as Jeremiah was seated, Kara was already grabbing cookies off of the plate.

 

"I know this hasn't been easy on you girls...women, you're women now…  I'm really having a hard time with that," Jeremiah said with a smile.  "I mean...I see you both, but all I can think of is you two being fourteen and fifteen…"

 

"Don't worry, you missed the rebellious years…" Kara told him.

 

"I've been going through photo albums all day with your mother...and no matter how many stories she tells me, I just wish I could hop into a time machine and go back and be here for you," Jeremiah told them.  "Because I don't think that you were ever rebellious, Kara...and Alex--"

 

"Oh, I was…" Alex confirmed.

 

"But I think part of that was because you felt lost...and I wasn't here for you," Jeremiah said gently.  "But I am so proud of you...of both of you...and as much as I've loved to have been here through the last ten years...I wouldn't have either of you any different than you are now."

 

"You sent us a little help," Alex reminded.  

 

Jeremiah gave a nod.  "And somehow he even lived through my stubborn daughter's rebellious phase…"

 

"It's an ongoing phase," Kara whispered not so quietly.

 

Alex pushed her sister lightly.  "Hey!"

 

"I have no idea where she gets it from," came Eliza's voice from behind.

 

Alex just laughed at that.  For so many years, her mother could never connect with her, but the last month or so...they've talked more...and now...her dad was back.  She sort of wondered if her mom felt worried that they'd lose that connection.  "There's still space out here," Alex told her mom and patted the space next to her.

 

All four of them sat there on the roof of their family house.  

 

"It's been so long since I've been out here," Eliza said with a sigh as she looked upward.  The stars shining down on them from above.  "You all remember that we  _ do _ have a deck, right?"

  
  


*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

  
  


"NO!  STOP!  Don't hurt them!"

 

"Alex!"

 

"KARA!" 

 

"Wake up!  Wake up, Alex!  I'm here!"

 

She sat straight up, her heart racing, and unable to breathe.  

 

"Breathe!  Breathe, Alex!" Kara shouted and shook her gently.

 

Seeing Kara, realizing that it was her sister there with her, Alex's lungs felt the relief as she sucked in air to fill them.  It took her a minute to catch her breath and she kept blinking her eyes.  She was drenched in sweat and she realized after a moment that her hands had wrapped around Kara's wrists as tightly as they could.

 

It was a nightmare.

 

Just a nightmare.

 

"Alex?  Kara?" Eliza called.

 

Her mother was there at her side with concern, but when Kara tried to pull away, Alex wouldn't let her.  The vivid imagery of the nightmare was still bouncing around her head.  "You're safe…" Alex whispered.  "J'onn?"

 

"Hey," Kara whispered as she brushed back Alex's hair.  "You're safe...we're all safe…  J'onn's back at the DEO.  Remember?"  It took Alex a moment and then she nodded.  Kara pressed a kiss to her forehead and then pulled back.  "You're warmer than normal…"  She gently pried Alex's hands from her wrists and let Eliza move into her place.

 

Alex noticed that her father had come into the room too, but was staying back, and looked worried.  Her mother was pressing a hand to her forehead and Alex just wanted space.  She knew that there was no way that she was going to get her mother to stop fussing, but she just felt so hot all over and wanted the space to breathe.  

 

"You're burning up," Eliza said.

 

"They just pumped her full of antibiotics," Jeremiah said from the doorway.

 

"Jeremiah, can you get me the thermometer?  Let's see how high it is," Eliza said looking back over at her husband before turning to Kara.  "Sweetie, I need you to go run a tepid bath for your sister."

 

Alex watched as no one argued and moved.  "I'm fine," she whispered.  The truth was that she was exhausted and her heart was still racing.  Her mind kept taking her back to the nightmare and she just couldn't let it go.  

 

"Alexandra, you're not fine…" her mother said gently and with concern.  "Maybe you caught a bug…"

 

"Here," her father said, handing the ear thermometer to her mother immediately.  

 

She let her mother take her temperature and just sat there with her eyes closed, trying to focus on her breathing.  Her body was starting to chill and she knew that no matter what number the thermometer proclaimed, she was sick.  "Are you not taking vitamins?" he mother asked and Alex huffed in response.  "You're one hundred and three point five, we've got to get it down."

 

Before Alex could protest, both of her parents were helping her to her feet and walking her towards the bathroom.  She was so tired and she'd started to shiver.  Getting into a tepid bath was really not something that she was excited about, but she knew it was necessary.  If she refused, her mother would take her to the hospital and that was something that Alex wanted to avoid at all costs.

 

"I  _ can _ walk," Alex mumbled grumpily.  They released her and she grabbed the counter for support.  She could walk, but she  _ was _ dizzy.  

 

Her mother was clearly worried, not wanting to let her go.  "I should probably sit in here with you, just in case--" 

 

That was when she was saved.

 

"Okay," Kara said and pushed her way in, grabbing a hold of Alex once she'd banished the parents from the confines of the bathroom that she and Kara had shared growing up.  "I'll sit with Alex…  You two can make soup...or wassail...or something," Kara told him.  "Also, Doctor Hamilton is coming from the DEO...so expect her...just to make sure that this is really a bug."  With that, her sister closed the door and locked it.

 

"You're my hero," Alex whispered shakily.  

 

"Remember when we wanted those tubs where we could both sit in?" Kara asked, her tone turning cheery.  "It only sounded cool to us."

 

Slowly, Alex started to strip from the little she had on as Kara kept her steady.  If it had been her mother, she would have been embarrassed...but that was mostly because Alex hated to be seen as weak.  Even though she didn't like Kara to see her in that light, it was different.  "Yeah and we were going to be weird and read books."

 

"And bubble baths…"

 

"This is probably going to be the first time I've had a bath since we were kids here…"

 

"Well, I can add bubbles," Kara told her as she carefully guided Alex to the bath.  Once Alex was in, she held on, just to make sure she didn't fall and Alex was actually so thankful for it.  

 

Trying to relax even though it felt like ice to her, she closed her eyes.  She knew Kara was there, sitting on the other side of the tub.  "I think I'm good for now...the bubbles might freeze."  She heard the water move and knew Kara had to be testing it.

 

"It's tepid."

 

"You might as well have put ice in here…"

 

"That's the fever talking…"

 

"Probably," Alex grumbled.  "You've only ever been sick for like two seconds in your entire life…"

 

"Fair."

 

"That doesn't mean I don't appreciate how you can keep me company when I am miserably sick and not catch it," Alex told her.  

 

They were both quiet for a long while.

 

"You were having a nightmare...and you were worried about J'onn and I...you were relieved that I was safe…  Why?"

 

Her eyes opened and though she didn't want to think about it, it seemed like those thoughts of Cadmus weren't going to leave her.  They didn't see much, but she swore that she was taking it all in more and more...processing it through everything they'd passed by and seen.  It wasn't only that though, it was also their interactions with Colonel Harper.  The colonel wasn't the only one in the world that was of just one thought when it came to aliens...and had a twisted sense of justice.  

 

"In the nightmare," Alex said slowly.  "We were looking for my dad...and  _ you _ were with us…"  She tried to remember why Kara was there, since she hadn't actually been there when they'd rescued her father.  "I don't know  _ why _ \--"

 

"Because you know I would have been, if I could have," Kara finished.

 

And she was right.

 

"Something happened...like we triggered something...and all of these bodies that were hooked to tables came alive…  They were like zombies…" Alex rambled.  "They grabbed you and J'onn and for some reason, you were both powerless to stop them.  I was being pulled in the opposite direction...and then they were cutting you both open and…" her voice broke and she couldn't go on.  Alex covered her face and took deep breaths, reminding herself that it was all just a nightmare.  It was likely something conjured up by the fever.  

 

Kara looked right at her and then placed her hand on Alex's bare shoulder.  Alex shivered at the contrasting heat that imanated from her sister's hand.  "It's _ not _ going to happen.   _ J'onn  _ is safe at the DEO.  You know that Lucy won't let  _ anyone  _ take him...and _ if  _ they  _ did _ , then we'll be the  _ first  _ to know."  Kara was silent for a moment.  "And we know _ I  _ am not going  _ anywhere _ because well, besides being Kryptonian...which helps...I have this  _ awesome _ big sister who will  _ fight  _ for me…"

 

Alex just grinned in response to that.  

 

It was true.  

 

"It's probably just the fever," Alex mumbled.

 

Kara nodded.  "You still have to sit in the tub for like ten more minutes."

 

Alex grumbled, but knew that there was no fighting.  Her mother was likely exactly timing it.  She slouched until her shoulders were submerged and sighed.  "I was supposed to be better…"

 

"Well, you're sick again…"

 

"I suppose that whatever this is has to be better than the bullet wound...or the blood loss...or the infection--"

 

"You really need to stop being hurt."

 

"Yeah, I don't think that's a possibility."

 

She didn't miss the look Kara gave her, Alex just smiled.  Though she felt a little better, she was fairly sure that was because she wasn't shivering...but her body had adjusted to the temperature of the bath mostly.  Alex just hoped that this meant her fever was gone or at least had downgraded.  Doctor Hamilton was coming from the DEO, but Alex would rather be well.  

 

"Well, I'd like to see you attempt to stay out of the way of bullets."

 

"I normally wear kevlar," Alex brushed off.

 

Kara just stared at her.

 

"Can I get out yet?"

 

"No."

 

"Can you warm the water?"

 

"It has to be tepid."

 

Alex just groaned, closed her eyes, and slipped all the way down that her head submerged for a moment, certain that completely submerging her head and soaking her hair would help further the dropping of her temperature.  

 

"We could watch 'Doctor Who' after you are out of the tub."

 

"Promise me we can watch all the River Song episodes."

 

"Are we watching them in episode order or in order of River's timeline?"

 

"That...I have to ponder."

  
  


*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

  
  


"It's still  _ high _ ."

 

"Well I'll just have to lose brain cells or something because I'm  _ not _ getting back into the tub," Alex complained as she curled up on her side on top of her freshly changed bed.  

 

"It's under one hundred and three, but not by much," Eliza said as she ran her fingers through Alex's hair.  "Is there anything I can get you, Sweetie?"

 

"I just want to watch 'Doctor Who'," Alex whispered and knew she had to sound like a child.  She didn't care.  She felt like crap and she just wanted to feel better...and possibly not sleep (if nightmares would come from sleeping).  "I didn't mean to wake everyone up."

 

"You know we don't mind," Eliza said.  "It's been a long time since I've really gotten to take care of you and Kara anyways…"

 

"I was bleeding on the dining room table downstairs not long ago," Alex reminded and didn't miss her mother's grimace.

 

"Why don't we leave them alone, Eliza?" Jeremiah spoke up from the door.

 

Kara appeared a moment later, a bright light in the room, with two popsicles. 

 

Alex was already sitting up when her sister held out one to her.  "You are my favorite."  Kara moved to set the TV so that it was ready for their 'Doctor Who' marathoning, though Alex didn't think that they'd ever figured out which way to watch it.  Right now, she didn't care as she was enjoying her icy treat.  She watched her parents leave the room and was relieved when her mother finally closed the door.  

 

"Doctor Hamilton is still coming," Kara reminded.

 

"Let her come."

 

"Maybe she's a Whovian."

 

"I still don't understand people who aren't."

 

Kara sat back down on the bed with Alex.  "They won't survive the end of the world."

 

"Let's face it, not many will."

 

"The world better watch out for the Danvers sisters."

  
  


*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

  
  


"She's still running a fever, but it isn't too high."

 

"It's gone down since I called."

 

"Which is good, but you're right to be concerned.  Her immune level is likely low due to all the antibiotics she was just on…  Her body's been fighting hard since the infection, so she just probably easily caught a bug that's going around."

 

Alex groaned and covered her face.  She could tell from the sound of the voices that it was Kara and Doctor Hamilton talking.   She'd apparently fallen asleep again, which was only okay since she'd not had nightmares...but she did not like being woken up.  "What time is it?" she grumbled.  

 

"Early."

 

The voice surprised her and was enough to cause her to open her eyes and uncover her face.  "J'onn?" she whispered.  When she saw him sitting there at her bedside, Alex felt this huge surge of relief that just hit her hard and fast.  Alex sat up and hugged him, not caring that Doctor Hamilton was right there or not.  J'onn was just going to have to get used to her and Kara hugging him.  

 

"When Kara called and talked to Lucy, she thought that it wouldn't hurt for me to escort Doctor Hamilton to Midvale and to make sure that you two weren't getting into much trouble," J'onn explained.  

 

"Alex isn't an easy patient," Kara stated the obvious.

 

"Well, she's going to follow my orders," Doctor Hamilton said quite seriously.  "Monitor her temperature, ibuprofen as a fever reducer...follow the directions on the bottle, fluids, and sleep."

 

"I can do that," Alex assured.  She looked sadly to J'onn, who she hadn't completely let go of yet.  "Does this mean you have to go now?"

 

He'd just gotten there.

 

Or at least that's how Alex perceived it.

 

She wasn't ready to let him go again.

 

"Your parents have offered me their spare room and Lucy has given me clearance to keep an eye on you," J'onn told Alex seriously.  "She thinks that I can get you to follow orders."

 

Kara just sputtered a laugh in response.

 

"Well, I'll leave you to enforce my orders," Doctor Hamilton told J'onn.  "Good luck, you're going to need it."

 

"Don't I know it," J'onn commented.

 

"Everyone is so kind."

 

"We just know you, Alex...too well."

  
  


*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

  
  


TBC…

  
  
  



	6. Home Again

"Normal."

 

"Thank the stars," Alex mumbled.  She was so over being a patient.  

 

"I think the ibuprofen is more responsible for your recovery," her mother pointed out.

 

"Thank the stars...and the pills," Alex amended a moment later.  When she received a look from her mother, she shrugged.  "The stars sent us Kara and J'onn...and they stayed up and watched 'Doctor Who' with me…"

 

"I can't argue with that…"

 

Her father sat down next to her and pushed a cup of tea in front of her.  "J'onn also brought me home to you…"

 

Alex looked over at him, taking the tea in between her hands, and smiled.  "He did."

 

"The stars have brought us a lot," Jeremiah said as he looked from Alex to Eliza, who sat down across from them with her own cup.

 

"You're right," Eliza admitted.  She sipped from her cup.  "Where are the other members of the Danvers clan?"

 

"Sleeping," Alex replied.  "I'm fairly sure that neither one of them actually slept until my fever finally broke...even when I slept…"

 

"What are the plans for today?" Jeremiah asked looking between her and her mother.

 

"Not running a fever," Alex mumbled all too seriously before sipping her tea.

 

"We can do anything that you want…  I'm just happy that everyone's home and under one roof," Eliza admitted.

 

"Oh crap."

 

"What?"

 

"Kara.  CatCo…"  Alex was up from her seat only to have her father grab her hand and stop her.

 

"A nice young man…  Jimmy Olsen called and asked if you were okay and if they should expect Kara at work today and I told him 'no'," her father explained.  He motioned to the living room.  "All the cell phones are lined up on the living room table."

 

"Did James sound like that was going to be okay?" Alex asked.  "Cat Grant isn't exactly the most...forgiving person…"

 

"He said that he and some other person--"

 

"Winn?"

 

"That sounds right," Jeremiah said.  "That they had it handled...and he hoped that you felt better."

 

"Okay," Alex said sucking in a deep breath before sitting back in the seat.  She just didn't want to be the cause of Kara losing her job.  

 

"It's a nice day out...we could go for a picnic…"

 

"I'm not sure we should push the girls," Eliza told her husband gently.

 

Alex took in a breath and spoke calmly.  "I'm fine.  I am.  Normal temperature.  You said so yourself.  It was probably just a fluke."

 

"You were screaming in your sleep, Alexandra."

 

She just blinked and stared between her parents.  Alex had honestly hoped that only Kara had really heard it.  "I was having a nightmare."

 

"I probably didn't help with that," Jeremiah mumbled guiltily.

 

"It was Project Cadmus," Alex told them as she stared down at the tea remaining in her cup.  "They were separating me from Kara and J'onn and then they started to cut them open…"

 

"How much do you remember from when we were there?  When you were rescuing me?" 

 

"Not a whole lot," Alex admitted.  "We were so focused when we were infiltrating the base and then--"

 

"And then I _ shot _ you."

 

"You know I forgive you for that," Alex whispered seriously as she stared at him.  

 

"It still  _ happened _ ."

 

"If _ I  _ can forgive you, then  _ you _ can forgive  _ yourself, _ " Alex said gently as she reached out and touched his shoulder.   Silence spread between the three of them.  "And you could make your potato salad for our picnic," Alex added a few moments later.

 

Her mother still looked concerned.  "I suppose it wouldn't be that much…"

 

"Also, I appreciate macaroni salad," Alex put out there.

 

Her parents grinned in response.  "Sometimes I wonder if you and Kara eat in National City."

 

"We eat…"

 

"Potstickers and pizza…"

 

"And ice cream."

  
  


*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

  
  


Their time in Midvale had been everything that Alex had hoped that it would be...all those years that they'd missed together...but it had been better.  They had an additional family member, which just made it better.  Alex was happy and relieved that Lucy had allowed J'onn to go to Midvale and that her parents had accepted him.  

 

Kara had already left for the day...but now it was time for her and J'onn to head back to National City.  She needed to get in on the fight to get J'onn seen as the hero he was and released from his status as a prisoner.  Alex was also determined to have him reinstated as director of the DEO.  There was going to be a lot of fighting go on when they got back.  

 

But first…

 

"You sure you can't stay longer?" 

 

"I get stir crazy," Alex told her father.  "I need to be doing something…"

 

"I hope that we'll keep in touch, though."

 

Alex hugged him tight.  "Don't worry, Dad.  I'm going to harass you so much you're going to be sick of me…"

 

"Not possible."

 

She beamed as she pulled back before her mother was hugging her.  "Don't worry, I'll catch your father up on all the technology that he's missed over the years."

 

Technology would definitely help with the distance.  

 

J'onn and her dad were shaking hands and exchanging goodbyes before her mother hugged him.  "You keep an eye on our girls…"

 

"Of course," J'onn replied.  

 

"I'm not _ that  _ much trouble," Alex said, which earned her looks from all three of them.  

 

"You and your sister should come with a warning label."

 

"That's the _ Danvers _ ...that  _ is _ the warning label," Jeremiah commented with a proud smile. 

 

Alex moved towards the SUV, feeling a little odd leaving both of her parents behind in Midvale.  She kept looking back and it kept feeling new and surprising to see her father still standing there.  She gave a wave before walking around the front of the vehicle to get into the passenger side seat.

 

"Wait!  Alex!  Can I talk to you?  Just one more minute?" her father asked as he jogged around the vehicle.

 

There was no way she was going to deny that.  To herself or to him.  She looked over and saw a nod from J'onn as he got into the driver's seat of the car and rolled down the window to talk to her mother some more as Alex walked towards her father.  She was fairly sure that he was doing that to keep her mother occupied from eavesdropping, which J'onn would likely do anyways.

 

"So, we didn't get to do a lot of talking...just  _ you and me _ ...and I  _ know  _ this is a bad time," Jeremiah said as his hands held her upper arms, his eyes on hers.  "But I want you to  _ know,  _ Alex, that even though I haven't been here to see you grow up...that I couldn't be  _ prouder _ of you.  I know that when Kara came to live with us, that that was  _ hard _ for you...and it felt  _ unfair. _  If I  _ could  _ go back, I  _ wouldn't _ have changed that.  I look at you and Kara...the relationship you have...how  _ close  _ you are...how much you both _ love  _ each other...and how that when you two stick together that there's  _ nothing _ you can't accomplish.  I wouldn't change it, Alex.  You are _ so beautiful _ and  _ so talented...so smart...and so badass _ …"

 

Alex laughed at that.

 

"And  _ I love you _ …  I want you to  _ know _ that.  I don't think you get to hear how  _ proud  _ of you we are and how much  _ you are loved, _ " Jeremiah told her.  "So  _ listen _ to me now and  _ remember it _ , okay?  All of that time away from you and your mother and Kara...it was all  _ worth _ it to me...because we still have  _ time _ .  I don't want us to dwell on all of that time we could have had and focus on what  _ will be _ …  Okay?"

 

Alex nodded quickly as tears slipped free and rolled down her cheeks.  She hugged him and for a moment, wished that she could bring herself to stay longer.  " _ I love you, Dad _ ."

  
  


*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

  
  


"You keep giving me  _ looks _ ."

 

_ "Looks _ ?"

 

Alex stared at him and then he glanced over again, looking a mix of concerned and pleased.  " _ That look _ ."

 

"That's my face, Alex."

 

"No, I've  _ seen _ your face for the last two years...it  _ changes _ .  There's something that you're not saying."

 

There was a long beat of silence.

 

Alex was still staring at him, waiting.  He finally spoke again.  "I'm _ glad _ that you got to spend time with your father…"

 

"I am, too," Alex said, waiting for more.  "Thank you, for going to Cadmus with me and--"

 

"You don't have to thank me for any of that."

 

" _ I do _ because you--"

 

"I already told you, Alex,  _ there was no choice to make _ ," J'onn insisted.  "And I already know that you're going to try to push for my release...but I  _ urge  _ you to take some time when we get back and acclimate to the change in the DEO."

 

"Lucy Lane as director, you mean?"

 

"She's a _ good  _ person, Alex, and we want to keep her on our side." 

 

"Are you afraid I'm going to scare her?"

 

"Or get yourself into trouble," J'onn pointed out.

 

She caught another look.  This one was different, a knowing look.  "I--I'm not _ that  _ much trouble--"

 

"You don't always follow orders."

 

"I--okay...but--"

 

"Alex, just please...take it easy…you've already seen that Lucy has been very generous with her definition of confinement," J'onn continued.  "She doesn't like it, but she has to look like she's following orders from those higher up."

 

She leaned back and crossed her arms over her chest.  "I still don't like it."

 

"Take it easy...and how Kara help you."  He eyed her for an extra moment before his attention turned back to the road ahead.  "You two balance each other out."

  
  


*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

  
  


"Sir!  Agent Danvers!"

 

Alex blinked at the bright and cheery tone they were immediately assaulted with upon entering the DEO.  It was as if Benanti had been lying in wait for them to walk through the doors, which honestly was entirely possible.

 

"I told you, Lara, I'm not a 'Sir' anymore," J'onn told her gently.

 

Benanti brushed that off with a swipe of her hand.  "You're always going to be a 'Sir' to me, Sir," she told him.  She walked alongside them.  "Anyways...I was thinking...now that you guys are back...and Supergirl's back...that maybe we should do something fun...like some kind of big dinner or...or a movie...or something that involves lightsabers…"  

 

As Benanti rambled, Alex immediately caught sight of Adler who was coming towards them with a pink box.  No one said anything, but grabbed a donut as she passed.  She started to eat the brightly colored frosted donut that she'd grabbed.  Alex realized that she'd really missed this...and showers...while they'd been on the run.  It was really like coming home, only she was dreading the idea of where she was going to have to leave J'onn.  

 

"I mean, it could be a  _ themed _ night.  Everyone likes themes, right?  Dinosaurs…  'Star Wars'…  I mean, there's 'Star Trek' too, but I figured we could put that off until they drop the new movie--"

 

"You know, we might have to talk to Director Lane about that," J'onn spoke up.

 

"On your left," Adler said as she whisked back by and grabbed Benanti and whisked her away.  

 

"Alice!" Benanti hissed at the other agent.

 

"Don't you have paperwork?"

 

"Are you the hallway monitor now?"

 

" _ Maybe _ ."

 

The two agents disappeared and Alex felt even more at home now.  She wasn't sure if that feeling would last once she came face to face with Lucy.  Of course she knew that the other woman was only doing her job, but Alex didn't have to be best friends with her.  Lucy was still the one responsible for calling her out on her lying...sure it was her job and she was right, but Alex still wasn't pleased about it.

 

"Please, Alex," J'onn said gently.  "Play nicely with Director Lane."

 

Alex still hated the thought of Lucy Lane as director of the DEO, mainly because director of the DEO was J'onn's position.  She caught him giving her a look and she let out a sigh.  

 

"Alex…"

 

She sighed again and crossed her arms over her chest.  "I can't help it…"

 

"Alex…"

 

"Agent Danvers...J'onn," Lucy greeted them.  "It's good to have you both back."

 

She was too bright for Alex's current mood.  There was that look, she could see it coming from J'onn in her peripheral vision.  She knew that it was stupid.  Alex knew that she wasn't thinking clearly, rationally, but she couldn't help it...J'onn was family and the DEO was their home and that had all been sort of taken from them.  Putting on a smile though, she held out her hand.  "Director Lane," Alex said politely.  Lucy shook the offered hand.  "Thank you for sending Doctor Hamilton and J'onn to Midvale--"

 

"It really was _ no _ problem," Lucy told her and Alex could tell that the other woman was sincere.  "I'm actually really glad that you're back and feeling better.  I was hoping that you could help me with some things...if you're up to it?"

 

Alex looked between Lucy and J'onn, this felt extremely awkward.  "You know, I might need another day…"

 

"Of course," Lucy brushed off with a smile.  "It's probably all a little weird being back and things not being the same…"

 

"I was just walking J'onn in…"

 

"Of course, I'll expect you in tomorrow then," Lucy told her before heading off and leaving them alone.

 

J'onn was staring at her and she felt the weight of it.  Sighing, she looked over at him.  "I was nice…"

 

"I am proud of you."

 

"I'm still not thrilled about how things are," Alex put out there as they headed in the direction of the containment cells and what was supposed to be J'onn's new home.  Alex felt sick and stopped for a moment.  "This won't stand--"

 

"Alex," he whispered as his hand fell along her arm as he stared at her.  "I can go the rest of the way alone."

 

"No--"

 

"It's fine."

 

"J'onn--"

 

"Alexandra," he said ever so gently as his hands held her in place by her upper arms.  "It's okay…  You've been through a lot.  I know that perhaps the choices that I made are not the ones that you would have made in my place...but they were still my choices and we must honor them."  J'onn smiled at her.  "And I can walk the rest of the way…"

 

It took her a good moment to push down the swell of emotions before she could manage a smile, it was for his benefit and she was certain that he saw right through it.  She grabbed his arm and started to walk again.  "No, I have to escort you...just in case Benanti pops out around the next corner…"

 

"Adler will be right behind her to intercept."

 

"Do you ever second guess recruiting all of us?" Alex asked him as she looked up at him as they walked.  

 

"Never."

 

"Not even Benanti?"

 

"No," J'onn responded.  "I just wish that I hadn't ever lost an agent."

 

So, even though she didn't really want to escort J'onn to his cell, she was doing it just the same.  Taking in breaths and trying to think of it as him spending the night on base, he'd done that often in the past.  "Yeah…" she whispered, thinking about all the agents that they'd lost in just the time she'd been there.  

 

"I remember every name."

 

"So do I."

  
  


*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

  
  


"Alex…"

 

"No," she mumbled.

 

"It's late."

 

"Five more minutes."

 

"Alexan--"

 

Grumbling, Alex moaned.  "Why have you taken to calling me by my full first name?"

 

"Sometimes it's more effective."

 

"Pretty much only my mother calls me that," Alex said as she sleepily rubbed her face.  She'd nearly fallen asleep in the containment cell/room that J'onn was supposed to be a resident of.  She just couldn't leave J'onn there like there was nothing wrong, she just didn't want to give in that that was really reality.  

 

"Kara's here…"

 

Alex blinked and looked around.  "How--"

 

"Benanti."

 

"Do you use your telepathy on all of us?" Alex questioned as she eyed him for a moment. She was extremely sleepy and really she didn't think that it was safe for her to drive.  That was likely why J'onn had brought up Kara being there.  Her sister would ensure that she arrived home safely.

 

"Not all the time."

 

"But you keep tabs on me."

 

"For reasons."

 

"What reasons could you possibl--"

 

"We have discussed your ability to follow orders," he reminded gently.

 

The doors slid open and Kara, dressed as Supergirl, entered quietly but with a bright smile.  She sat down alongside Alex, half hugging her.  

 

"I've gotten better at it," Alex defended.  

 

"At what?" Kara asked.

 

"Following orders."

 

"You're here," Kara reminded.

 

Alex eyed her sister.  "And what's that supposed to _ mean _ ?"

 

"I thought you were going home?"

 

"Who said that?"

 

" _ You _ ."

 

"Says  _ who _ ?"

 

"Lucy?"

 

Alex just grumbled.  

 

"Go home, Danvers...both of you," J'onn told them.

 

"Goodnight, J'onn," Kara said as she helped her sister up.  "I'll make sure she gets home."

 

"I know you will."

 

"Night," Alex told him, giving him a long sad look before allowing Kara to guide her out.  It was hard to leave and if it wasn't for Kara, she wouldn't have left.

  
  


*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

  
  


TBC…

  
  



	7. The love of family

"She's awful!"

 

J'onn just watched as she paced.  He was sitting on the bench in his cell eating the Chocos that Benanti had dropped off to him the previous day.     
  
"How did you even get her to do anything that you wanted?"

 

There was a lot of hand flailing and J'onn was just waiting for the pacing to stop and for there to be a breath taken before he spoke up.  The answer to her question would take some explaining and likely wouldn't be to her liking.  

 

"I mean,  _ honestly _ …  I tell her to do one thing and she does the  _ exact opposite _ !"

 

He smirked at that and set the cookies down before getting to his feet and moving to push the door open.  It swung open and he sat on the pedestal edge that held the cell.  "Take a breath," he prompted before patting the area next to him.  "Let me tell you something about Alex Danvers…  She's a force to be reckoned with…"   
  
"But we're on the  _ same side _ ," Lucy said in exhaustion as she sat down next to him.  

 

J'onn just smiled over at Lucy.  "You're doing a good job, you know that, right?"

 

"Kara keeps saying that, but I'm not feeling as confidant…"

 

"Alex means well," J'onn said gently.  "She's still upset.  At me.  At you.  At the world."

 

"I mean, I understand that…" Lucy said slowly.  "And I  _ thought _ I had mentally prepared myself--"

 

" _ I _ wasn't even prepared for Alex when I first recruited her…" J'onn explained.  He figured that even though he'd explained his origin as far as Hank Henshaw and Jeremiah Danvers were concerned, he and Lucy had never had this particular heart to heart.  "I told you that I promised Jeremiah Danvers that I'd look after his daughters…"  Lucy nodded.  "Kara was fourteen and Alex was fifteen.  Imagine for Kara...having lost your world, family, and purpose a year before...and then losing the father that took you in and loved you as his own.  Imagine for Alex...having struggled for the last year to have this alien sister who didn't know how the world works and the parent that you identified most with...died.  Jeremiah's death brought the girls closer together, but it still fractured the Danvers family."  

 

He paused and looked over at Lucy, his voice quiet.  "I know that you and Lois lost your mother at a young age...I'm sorry…"  He took a breath.  "But I'm sure you can imagine how Alex and Kara felt…"  J'onn knew that she did, he could sense it in her.  Lucy had always put on this tough exterior, but he'd always seen the sweet girl inside of her that had just longed for a place of her own.  "Alex pushed on...the best that she could...trying to honor her father...followed in his footsteps...up until her final stretch of her PhD."  J'onn sighed, thinking about that Alex.  It hadn't been  _ that _ long ago.  "Alex was this brilliant scientist...her work involved Kara...alien DNA...and her professors weren't privy to Kara's origins.  Her theories and thesis were rejected.  It sent her spiraling…"  J'onn shrugged.  "Partying...drinking...the police picked her up one extremely early morning trying to get into her car and barely able to walk.  That's when I found her.  I bailed her out of jail.  I arranged for her PhD to be pushed through because her work was valid and brilliant."

 

"You were a father to her…"

 

"That was the last time that I had to watch her from a distance," J'onn explained.  "I knew the person that she could be...that she was...deep down...if given the opportunity to flourish in the right environment.  The DEO...that was what she needed...not in some lab coat all of the time...she needs to be out in the field just as much as she needed that science."

 

The door whooshed open and he looked up to see Benanti and Adler standing there.  Adler was the first to speak.  "Sorry, Director Lane, we didn't realize--"

 

"No, it's fine," Lucy said as she got to her feet.

 

"What can I do for you two?" J'onn asked.  He could tell that they had something on their minds, but he was trying not to probe beyond the slight nervousness he felt, mainly from Benanti.  "You can speak in front of Director Lane…"

 

"It's Agent Danvers, Sir," Benanti said quickly.  "She's…"

 

"She's not acting quite like her normal self," Adler finished.  "We're just concerned.  She's been through a lot recently."

 

J'onn sighed.  "What has she done?"

 

"She--she's defied Director Lane's orders not to pursue the Ambler alone," Benanti supplied.  She held up her hands quickly before they could get too worked up about the news.  "But it's fine...Supergirl is already on her way and Vasquez has already dispatched a team."  She looked over at Lucy.  "I hope that's okay with you, Ma'am…  I just sort of ordered it and didn't think to consult you first…"

 

"No, it's fine," Lucy said as she pinched the bridge of her nose.  "It's what I would have ordered."

 

J'onn could sense the concern and upset rising in Lucy.  She was still so young, but she was trying her best.  Alex could test anyone.  "Did she say anything on comms about defying orders?" he asked.

 

"She cut communications, Sir," Adler reported.

 

"It's been awhile since she's outright defied orders," Benanti seemed to try to offend.  She quickly added a moment later, "not that she's right to do so...ever...I'm just putting that out there."

 

"Besides the whole lying about knowing you were an alien or whatever," Adler added.

 

"Well, there was also that time that she brought Supergirl's friends in...when she was like being attacked by that creepy plant thing," Benanti continued.

 

"Didn't she also arrest and lock up Maxwell Lord?"

 

J'onn noticed Lucy's wide eyed expression.  Adler and Benanti weren't wrong.

 

"She traded a prisoner for you that one time, too," Benanti kept going.  "And I mean...anytime that General Lane is here...especially when he tries to take over the DEO...it's just like...do you really expect her to listen to him?"  She looked to Lucy.  "No offense, Director."

 

"Well and we used to only get involved with alien threats and then Reactron came to town...and everything changed," Adler pointed out.

 

"Let's be honest," Benanti said.  "The moment that Kara decided to be Supergirl and be a superhero...that's when it all changed…"

 

Lucy groaned.

 

"Sorry...Director...Sir…"  Lara tilted her head slightly and frowned.  "Maybe...we should go…"

 

"Thank you, for letting us know...about Danvers," J'onn told them as he watched them go.  Lucy was done already and Alex wasn't even back yet, J'onn could sense it, it was radiating off of her strongly.  "I know that you're director now...but--"

 

" _ Please _ , tell me  _ everything _ I need to know in order to handle Agent Danvers...and keep myself from being court martialed," Lucy practically pleaded as she dropped her hands and turned to him.  

 

"She's going to continue to rebel until the matter of my incarceration is handled," J'onn told her gently.  "Now, I'm not asking you to break rules or for favors...but just keep her informed.  Treat Alex like she's trusted by you.  Make it known to her that you're doing everything you can to get me released.  Most of all, remind her that  _ you're _ in charge."

 

Lucy just stared at him.

 

"You _ are  _ the director--"

 

"Who she  _ hates _ ."

 

"She hated me for a while when she thought that I was actually Hank Henshaw and that I'd killed her father…"

 

"That's different.  You built that up over the last two years."

 

"So, have Kara with you...have her there as a buffer," J'onn suggested.  "Kara can help to temper Alex's anger."

 

"Too bad I can't write Cat a note and get Kara excused until I get you released."

 

J'onn smirked at that.  "Doesn't exactly work that way."

 

"Oh, I know…"

 

"You'll be fine.  Stay strong."

 

"That sounds like it's one of those easier said than done type of things…"

 

J'onn just smiled at her.  "I have faith in you."

  
  


*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

  
  


" _ She's horrible _ !"

 

"Actually, that's _ highly  _ unfair," Kara said as she hurried into the room behind her angry sister.     
  
J'onn had been expecting this and had just been sitting there perched on the edge of the pedestal.  He knew that Alex wasn't going to take what Lucy had to say, what he'd told her to say, well and he'd been expecting just this.  He watched as Alex angrily paced back and forth and could feel the upset roll off of her.  She really wasn't upset at Lucy, though.  

 

"Alex," he whispered as he held out a hand.  Once she took it, he pulled her closer.  Eventually, she sat down next to him.  Kara was facing them, she looked pissed off and had her arms crossed over her chest.  Sometimes he wished that he could read Kryptonians just for times like these.  J'onn waited a beat before speaking up, his attention turned towards Alex.  "I didn't give myself up to the DEO...to be in here...for you to get yourself kicked out of the DEO and make enemies with Lucy Lane," he said gently.  "Now I know that you think Lucy was out of line, but she isn't…"  He held up a hand when she started to argue.  "Alex, I know that this isn't what you wanted...that this is hard for you...that you're angry, but I trained you  _ better _ than this."

 

She looked so small and so upset.  He almost wished that things were different and he could just hold her and tell her that they'd get through this together, that he'd be there next to her every step of the way.  That wasn't happening though, J'onn couldn't hold Alex's hand and be right there with her through this.  

 

"You are  _ stronger _ than  _ all of us _ , Alex," J'onn told her.  He knew that it was something that Jeremiah had said and thought about her before and he couldn't be more right.  "You  _ know  _ what kind of person you  _ want  _ to  _ be _ ...the person that I  _ knew _ you  _ could _ be back when I recruited you...the person who only grows  _ stronger  _ with her sister…"

 

" _ Please _ , Alex," Kara whispered as she stepped towards them.  "Listen to him.  I've been here with Lucy while you and J'onn have been away and I swear to you, Alex...she is a good person.  She wants to get J'onn out of here.  She wants him reinstated.  She wants you to not hate her...and so does everyone else on this base...because when you're not happy...no one else is either."

 

He could feel a change in Alex.  

 

"You're angry at the  _ entire world _ ," J'onn whispered.  "But you don't need to be...this is all just  _ temporary _ …"  He put an arm around her and pulled her to him, pressing a kiss to her hair.  He knew what he was going to say next was going to sit even worse with Alex, but it needed to be said... _ to _ her...and  _ by _ her.  "You know what you have to do now, Alex."  He could sense the tension filling Alex and regret seeping in.  "Kara will go with you."

 

"I will," Kara confirmed.  J'onn had known that Kara would be more than willing without him even having to ask it.  "I'll do  _ anything  _ for you, Alex."

 

"Can I just sit here for a few more minutes?"

 

Kara moved and sat down next to her sister and took her hand.  "We can sit for as  _ long _ as you  _ need _ ."

  
  


*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

  
  


"You didn't have to--"

 

"She  _ needed _ to do it...for  _ herself _ ," J'onn told her not looking up from the book that Adler had brought him.  "It would have been harder later for her,  _ trust me. _ "

 

"Alex is lucky to have you...they  _ both _ are," Lucy commented as she moved closer.

 

_ "I'm _ really the lucky one when it comes to them."  

 

He'd been content to just do what he'd set out to do.  To watch the Danvers sisters from afar, keep them out of trouble, even though that meant recruiting Alex at one point.  He'd grown the DEO into something that did good, that protected the Earth (and the girls in turn).  He'd been fine with continuing all of that...and then the plane Alex had been had been sabotaged...and then Kara had saved it…  That's when it had all changed.  He'd hated it at first, but now...he wouldn't change any of it.  He wouldn't change all the good that they'd done since...the stronger connection he saw between the girls...the fact that he'd been able to do good as his true self...or the family that they'd created without him realizing that was what they were doing.

 

Lucy was smiling, her arms crossed across her chest as she gave a short nod.  "Do you need anything before I head out?"

 

"No, but thank you…"

 

"I haven't given up" Lucy told him a beat later.

 

And he knew.

 

Lucy hadn't been gone for five minutes before he found that his containment room was being over run with Benanti, who had decided that he really needed a different form of entertainment.  J'onn had just sat on the pedestal with Adler at his side as they watched her fight with the controls.  

 

"How you hanging in here, boss?" Adler asked.

 

"Far better than I originally thought," J'onn responded.

 

"Because we keep harassing you?"

 

"I was counting it as entertainment," he said as he watched Benanti cursing at the panel.  

 

He caught Adler's smirk.  "Director Lane isn't  _ so bad _ ...but she's not _ you _ ."

 

"We just need to keep the DEO up and running, Alice," he said gently.  He hadn't overhauled the DEO for nothing.  He wasn't about to let it fall or fall into the wrong hands.  "I'm just glad that Director Lane is in charge over the general."

 

Adler groaned.  "Hate that guy."

 

"He believes he's just doing this job."

 

"If his job is interfering with ours...then  _ yeah _ ...he's doing it…"

 

He couldn't hold back a short laugh in response to that.  J'onn was still quite surprised that he had agents coming to him, checking on him...and generally just concerned about him being in there all alone.  After Alex, Adler and Benanti were likely the ones who were there the most.  It was touching and it made him proud...because he honestly had never intended to bring this family together.

 

"Also, you should  _ know _ , we have an escape plan...to get you out of here...if things go south," Adler told him lowly.

 

"That's  _ not _ going to be--"

 

"It's already been thought up and prepped," Adler said quickly and quite seriously.  " _ Just in case _ …"

 

Sighing, he knew that there was no way to talk them out of it.  He knew Alice Adler and Lara Benanti too well.  They were just as stubborn as Alex was.  All he could think about was how he and Alex had been called traitors and put in that truck to be taken to Project Cadmus and he didn't want that for any of his agents…  

 

" _ Think of Charlie _ ," he told her.

 

" _ I am _ ," Adler insisted.  "If they pull that crap again…can you imagine what will happen to  _ Kara _ ?  I mean, the army will probably come in here... _ take _ our Kryptonite ammunition and use it against her.  It won't just be you and Danvers in that truck, they'll take Supergirl too…  The world might as well be ending at that point."  He was dead serious.  "That's not the kind of world I want to be living in...and it's not one that I want my daughter growing up in."

 

"You don't think we have a plan that'll keep all of us safe  _ and _ Charlie?" Benanti finally added to the conversation.  "There was very  _ extensive _ planning and _ very thoughtful  _ thinking going on when we were figuring it _ all  _ out."

 

They were  _ his _ agents.

 

He'd trained them  _ well _ .

 

"I won't have any of you labeled traitors," he said gently.

 

"Uh... _ they _ would be the  _ traitors _ !" Benanti raged for a moment and then smacked the panel.  Suddenly everything decided to work for her.  " _ Yes… _ " she hissed in response.  The Netflix logo appeared on the wall they'd had it projecting on before and this only made Benanti louder.  " _ VICTORY _ !"  

 

"I just  _ want  _ you to know that  _ we've _ got your back, Sir," Adler said as she got up to go and tend to Benanti and finish the setup.

  
  


*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

  
  


He wasn't sure what time it was, but the sound of the door opening was what woke him.  J'onn sat straight up when he noticed that it was Kara.  She was dressed as Supergirl, but her face looked like there was something extremely wrong.  He could feel the worry and stress roll off of her.  "Kara?" he whispered.

 

Was something wrong with Alex?

 

Was--

 

Kara was clearly upset.  Shaken and looked like she was on the verge of tears, which was familiar to him since that's how Alex had looked.  "I just had to see you, I hadn't meant to wake--"

 

"It's fine," he promised.  "I'm always here for you."

 

"I was with Alex…"

 

"Is she okay?"

 

Kara shrugged, clearly unsure.  "I mean, she's physically fine…"  She was pacing now.  That only made J'onn more worried about the girls.  "But she's been having nightmares...and I know that she was having them in Midvale…  Eliza told me that she had them after she was shot...and then she was having them when we all went back to Midvale, but…"

 

"You're worried about her."

 

"All I could think as I listened to her...all I could think as I tried to wake her and then assured her that everything was okay and that she was safe...was that maybe I'm not going about this the right way," Kara confessed.  "What if we can't get them to pardon you?" 

 

"Then we'll figure something out  _ if _ it comes to that," he said gently.  He knew that he couldn't tell her that it was fine, that he'd gladly accept what would come if it meant keeping them  _ both  _ safe...keeping _ all _ of his agents safe.  "You know that Lucy is doing everything she can--"

 

"But what if it's not  _ enough _ ?"

 

He stared at her for a long stretch of silence.

 

There it was…

 

_ Guilt _ .

 

Before she could say it, he spoke.  "Kara, you know that no matter what  _ happened _ ...that it wasn't  _ your _ fault," he said as he got to his feet and let himself out of the glass prison on the pedestal.  He stepped down and put his hands on her upper arms as he stared at her.  "You  _ were not _ you…  The Red Kryptonite affected you…"  He paused for a moment.  "But you were also right…  I was hiding my true form…  I didn't think that people would think of me the same if they knew I was green and from Mars…"  J'onn smiled at that thought.  "I've had so many agents that don't seem to care about that."

 

"They care about you," Kara insisted.  "They're family."

 

"We are a family.   _ All of us _ ."

 

"I wish I could go back and change things…"

 

When he saw the tears fall, he pulled her close and hugged her tight.  It was likely the tightest hug that she'd received in some time.  "I would have done the same thing to save you...or any of my agents...I would have risked it all...because it was the  _ right thing _ …"

 

"But _ I _ was the one ready to _ kill _ Alex.  _  My sister _ ."

 

And he realized, Alex wasn't the only one haunted by those series of events.  He knew that he'd thought back to them over the last couple of weeks.  It was hard not to.  While she'd been under the influence of the Red Kryptonite, Kara had looked an awful lot like Astra.  It had been disturbing and though seeing Kara like that had been unsettlingly disturbing...it had also made him regret the fact that Alex had had to kill Astra weeks before in order to save him...because if Kara could go that dark...then he could only assume that Astra would have still possessed the kind of light that they all saw in Kara on a daily basis.  She wasn't the only one who held guilt over events that they would like to go back and change.

 

"Listen to my words, Daughter," he whispered.  "The past cannot be changed.  All we can do is work towards making the future better.  We have to live each day changing this world together, but never forget that you are not alone in it."

 

Kara sniffled and nodded against him.  

 

He kissed her forehead and then took a step back from her, his hands still holding onto her though.  "Now, what time is it?" J'onn questioned gently.  

 

"Four-something," Kara mumbled.

 

"Go back...sleep for a couple more hours," J'onn told her.  "Have breakfast with your sister."

 

"J'onn--"

 

"Go Kara…"

 

When she finally nodded, he was certain that what he'd said had been enough as he watched her go.  Letting out a sigh, he just wished that there was more that he could do.  He wondered if he should have encouraged them to go back to Midvale even though he knew them both well enough to know that that wasn't going to happen.

 

But maybe there was another option…

  
  


*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

  
  


TBC…

  
  



	8. Things change, but things stay the same

"You left."

 

"I…"

 

"Kara," Alex whispered and looked directly at her sister, her tone telling her sister that the truth was what was needed and necessary.  After all, Alex would be able to tell if Kara was lying.

 

"I went to see J'onn…"   
  
"It was four in the morning," Alex pointed out in confusion as she set her piece of toast down.  "Why did it have to be then?"  She watched as her sister get suddenly upset.  Alex hadn't meant for that reaction to come from Kara, just the truth.  She immediately moved to Kara's side and put an arm around her.  "What's wrong?"

 

And then it all came out.

 

Kara was crying and Alex just held her as her sister rambled on about how it was her fault that J'onn had to show himself and that's why he was imprisoned and about how she'd heard Alex crying and screaming in her sleep...and it just went on and on and Alex just held her sister as tight as she could.  

 

"Shh…" Alex whispered.  "Kara...it's not your fault…"  She sighed and held onto her sister.  "We've been over this…"  She was quiet for a long moment.  "I'm sorry that I made you so upset…"

 

"It's not your fault--"

 

"Hush, no more talk about fault or blame or guilt…  No more tears or sad faces," she whispered.  "Let's just eat breakfast and talk about how you're going to talk to James today about doing something other than outline design or superhero-ing."  She pulled back and just smiled at Kara.

 

"But--Alex...I told--"

 

Alex just beamed at that.  Kara's confusion was so adorable especially when it came to James Olsen.  She opened her mouth to say something when there was a knock at the door.  "Are we expecting someone?"

 

"No…" Kara replied and was pulling her glasses down the bridge of her nose just slightly.  Alex knew that she had to be using her x-ray vision to peek.  "Um...it's Eliza and Jeremiah…"

 

"What?  I didn't call--"

 

"Neither did I."

 

There was another knock.

 

"What do we do?" Kara asked.

 

Alex burst out laughing.  It wasn't like it was Non or some alien from Fort Rozz.  It was the most ridiculous thing ever.  

 

"Alex!" 

 

But she just kept laughing.  

 

There was another knock.

 

This time, Kara started to laugh too.

 

There was a louder knock, followed by her mother's voice.  "We can hear you two laughing from out here."

 

They just laughed harder.

 

Eventually, Alex composed herself enough to get to her feet and let her parents in.  She hugged them both immediately. This was an unexpected visit, but she was so happy that they were there.  

 

"We heard that you two might need us," Eliza said as she hugged Kara.

 

Alex was hugging her father a little longer, but she was still making up for all those lost years.  "We're _ always _ going to need you," Alex whispered.

 

"J'onn called?" Kara questioned when they were all separated and had taken a step back.  

 

Jeremiah nodded.  "It was early, but I'm glad he did…"

 

"I think that this is where we need to be right now," Eliza added.  "At least until we're able to get J'onn J'onzz out of that DEO prison and for things to get more normal for you two."

 

"Normal?" Alex echoed with a light laugh.

 

Kara laughed at that too.  She glanced over at the clock.  "I'm so sorry," she said as she turned back them.  "I have to get going so I'm not late…"

 

"We understand, Sweetie," Eliza said as she stepped forward and pressed a kiss to Kara's cheek before she hurried into Alex's bedroom and disappeared.

 

"Coffee?" Alex offered as she motioned to the kitchen.  

 

This wasn't how she expected to start her day, but she actually was very okay with it.

  
  


*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

  
  


"Ma'am, you've got  _ multiple _ Danvers," Alex had heard Vasquez say when she and her parents entered the DEO control area.  

 

Lucy was heading towards her, but had obviously come from another direction, possibly from J'onn's office.  Though they hadn't left things on the best note the night before, even though Alex had apologized and done her best to straighten things out with Lucy Lane, she knew that there was a possibility that them all arriving could be taken as hostile (though obviously not that hostile since her parents were both unarmed scientists and obviously both knew of and had been in the DEO before).  

 

"What can I do for the Doctors Danvers?" Lucy questioned.

 

Her father spoke up before she could.  "We're here to make sure that J'onn J'onzz is released...the right way, of course."

 

"That's what we _ all _ want...but that will take _ time _ ," Lucy tried to explain.  " _ You know that.  All of you know that _ ."

 

"But we've got some ideas of how to push that clock," Alex told her.  She wasn't grumpy or confrontational, for this moment she was full of hope because she was certain that it would work.  

  
  


*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

  
  


"Let me see if I'm understanding you correctly...you want me to defy orders of my superiors and allow J'onn to go out with Supergirl...to be seen by the public--"

 

"They'd see him as a  _ hero _ ," Eliza pointed out.  "The rest of us already know that, but the world just know that they saw a green alien fighting an out of control Supergirl…  Do you really think it's fair to let that be the  _ only _ thing that the public remembers?  It's not even like they know the  _ whole  _ story…"

 

"Which is probably  _ really _ for the best," Alex pointed out.  After all, how would it look to the public that Red Kryptonite influenced Supergirl nearly killed her sister?  

 

"Okay, so even _ if  _ I got superiors to  _ agree _ to this...or I was  _ willing _ to  _ risk everything _ ...you better think ahead…you know, before Cat Grant goes branding him," Lucy said with a flair of her hand.  "What are we going to  _ call him _ ?  I don't think it's smart to put his actual name out there."

 

"Maybe that's something we should actually let  _ J'onn _ decide," Jeremiah spoke up.

 

Alex shook her head.  "He had a hard time calling Kara  _ Supergirl  _ when she was first coined that," she said.  J'onn was someone she _ knew _ .  The wheels in her head turned as she thought over what Lucy was saying.  She was right and they did need to think.  "On Mars, he was like a police officer…"

 

"But they called them  _ Manhunters _ ."

 

"So, why don't we call him what he is?" Alex asked them.  "The Martian Manhunter?"

  
  


*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

  
  


"What?"

 

"I just got off the phone with the president…"

 

Alex just stared at the other woman, waiting, and she'd noticed that everyone else was listening.  The DEO's control room was filled with other agents plus her parents were hanging around.  "What did she say?"  She spoke again before Lucy could answer, especially since Lucy had seemed like she was having a hard time coming out with what had been said.  "She got all the interviews and character references, right?  She knows that he's on our side...that J'onn is a hero.  He did what he did--"

 

"Alex, let her talk," her father said from behind.

 

It was hard to wait, but this was everything that they'd been working for.  This was what she'd been on her best behavior for.  This was what she'd gone over with Lucy, every bit of everything had been sent to make sure that everything was one hundred percent accurate and in order.  

 

"The president has ordered a joint leadership at the DEO," Lucy announced.  "J'onn is to be pardoned and reinstated as Director of the DEO, but there will also be a military attache assigned in order to keep a closer eye on things."  

 

Alex wasn't sure how she felt about that.  It depended on the person.  "As long as it's not Colonel Harper."

 

"The president has named me the attache."

 

Though she and Lucy hadn't gotten off to the best of starts, the other woman wasn't bad and if Alex had to answer to anyone else that was overseeing operations at the DEO she was glad that it was Lucy.  "Congratulations, Major Lane," Alex said with a smile.  

 

"Now let's give J'onn the good news."

  
  


*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

  
  


"Major Lane?"

 

Alex found Lucy in J'onn's office, she was packing her things.  As the military attache to the DEO, she'd have an office...but it wouldn't be  _ that _ one.  Lucy almost seemed a little upset, which upset Alex.  She sighed.  In the rest of the DEO, everyone was celebrating.  She'd already hugged J'onn and her parents and the other agents were all with him now.  She'd turned around and found that Lucy had disappeared.

 

"You know you  _ can  _ call me Lucy," she said as she turned towards Alex.

 

"Adler's bringing in donuts to celebrate…"

 

"I was just moving--"

 

"It's not  _ just  _ about J'onn, you know...it's about  _ you _ being attache…"

 

Lucy looked like she didn't believe one word of that.  

 

Alex sighed again.  "I know that I've not been the best--"

 

Holding up a hand, Lucy's face softened a bit.  "I understand...I do.  It's been hard on you...on all of you--"

 

"And  _ you _ ," Alex said quickly.  "I think Kara and J'onn were the only ones who truly knew...saw that…"  She paused for a beat.  "I'm sorry, Lucy...I am…"

 

"I know," Lucy responded and she smiled.  "I am just hoping that...maybe we can be friends?  I mean, I've heard all about you...from Kara…"  

 

While she and J'onn had been gone and on the run, Alex knew that Kara had been there...helping Lucy...teaching her how the DEO was run.  It only made sense that Kara talked to Lucy about her…  "I really want that too," she admitted.  "I--"

 

"I really get it, he's your family…"

 

"But you've known that all along."

 

Lucy just smiled and gave her a nod.  "And I'll admit, I'm jealous of what you have…  You have this perfect family...your father is back from the dead...and he loves you, Alex."  She paused for a moment.  "And then you have a family here at the DEO…  All of them, they'd do anything for you."

 

"You can be part of it, too," Alex told her.  "It's just going to take us all time to figure out how it all works now…"  She sucked in a breath and motioned to the door.  "Why don't we start by joining everyone?"

 

"Okay," Lucy said, still a bit hesitantly.  "Let me just figure out where to put this--"

 

"I know the perfect open office space."

  
  


*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

  
  


"Twelve years ago, our family was blessed with another daughter...and though we knew that she was special...Jeremiah and I couldn't have ever imagined how truly…"

 

"Badass they both are," Jeremiah spoke up.

 

Eliza seemed to stare at him, almost shocked, for a moment and then just smiled when he smirked as a response to his words.  "We're proud of them...and we're so proud of all of you...this family that I didn't even know would form in result.  I've met and gotten to know most of you over the last couple of weeks and...I'm rambling, aren't I?"

 

Jeremiah took over a moment later.  "I think what you're getting at is that we're all so lucky to have this family."

 

And they were.

 

Everyone held up their glasses.  

 

"To family," Kara said quickly. 

 

Alex grinned at her sister.  Her parents were likely to continue to ramble and neither of them needed stories told as filler.  She took a sip of her wine and looked over to see J'onn talking to them.  Her parents had wanted to throw a celebration and since Midvale was a bit too far to have the bulk of the DEO agents so far away from National City (just in case an alien threat decided that was the perfect day to end the world), they'd opted to rent out an outdoor space.  Harewood was running the barbecue and she and Kara had helped set up everything (and buy everything with Eliza).  

 

She watched her sister as she laughed in response to something that Winn had said, Lucy and James also standing with them.  It was so nice to see everyone so happy.  As she watched them all, she realized that she was truly blessed...and she'd always been.  

 

"You okay?"

 

Alex looked over at her father.  "Hmm?"

 

"You looked like you were somewhere else for a moment."

 

"I was just thinking about how lucky I am."

 

Her father smiled at that.  "That's all I've been thinking since I snapped out of whatever haze Cadmus had me in…"

 

"I'm really glad that you and Mom are here."

 

"I'm sure that we can be a little much to have around…"

 

Smiling, she shook her head.  "No, really...I hope that you both stick around...at least for a little longer…"

 

"We're talking about it," he admitted.  "I told your mother that we should just have an apartment in National City, so that we can come and visit you both anytime we want without crashing," Jeremiah told her.  "You both have so much going on with your lives, you need your space."

 

"But it's worth it."

 

"Still…"

 

And she appreciated that.     
  


"I can't imagine you any other way than you are right now," her father told her.  Her eyes didn't leave his as he spoke.  "I feel silly because at the same time...I wish I hadn't missed all of that...but you wouldn't have been the same...and in a way, I know I can catch up all that I missed between your mother, J'onn, and Kara…"

 

And he was right.

 

"When I found out that you had worked for the DEO all those years ago...and why...and before I knew J'onn wasn't Henshaw," Alex admitted.  "I was afraid that if you knew...that you might not be proud of me…"

 

"I don't think I could ever  _ not  _ be proud of you, Alex."  He nudged her.  "Go on, go mingle…  I'm not going anywhere…"

 

"I'm holding you to that."

  
  


*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

  
  


Tears fell down her face as she hugged her father.  She'd already said goodbye to him before and she knew that he was only going with her mom to Midvale, but she'd suddenly found it hard to let him go as he held her.  One hand held her close and the other was splayed through her hair.  A sob bubbled up in her, but she held it down only a shaky breath escaping her lips which only made her cling to him more.  

 

"Shh…" he whispered and he swayed them for a moment as he held her.  "You can come to visit anytime...and I'll figure out all this new technology…  I won't be far…"

 

It felt like he was going to be on another planet.  

 

"I know," she finally was able to get out, her voice breaking.

 

He waited until she pulled away to let her go.  She didn't know how long she'd hugged him, but her inability to keep her emotions under control seemed to either be contagious or Kara had been just as upset for Jeremiah and Eliza to leave them.  Alex hugged her mother, taking an extra minute to hug her.  Even though she had had her mother all this time, she had been realizing more and more just how much her mother had done for her over those years...and they were working on mending things between them.  

 

"I love you," her mother whispered to her.  "And I'm so proud of you."

 

When they separated, she just looked over at her father and her sister.  Alex was suddenly so thankful that she and Kara lived in the same city and saw each other pretty much every day, she didn't know what she'd do if she'd have to say goodbye to her sister for any length of time (again).  

 

"We're so proud of both of you," Jeremiah told them, he was crying now.  

 

"And we love you both so much."

 

Alex nodded and smiled. 

 

"Don't worry...I'll teach him how to use his phone and Skype and then you'll really never be rid of us," Eliza told them.

 

She and Kara just laughed.  Take a step to her right, she grabbed onto Kara's hand and squeezed lightly.  There was so much comfort in knowing that her sister was going to be there.  As much as she hadn't wanted Kara as a sister when she'd first been brought to them all those years ago, Alex couldn't imagine her life without her...and she didn't want to.  

 

Kara was always home even when they weren't at Midvale.

 

"We should go," Eliza said after a moment.  "Before all four of us are crying…"

 

They walked them to the door and said goodbye again and watched them walk down the hallway.  Alex couldn't push herself to walk them to the car.  She'd just start crying again.  Instead, she turned to Kara and hugged her sister.  It didn't last long, though, her cell phone sounded.  Grabbing it from her pocket, she glanced at called ID before putting it to her ear.  "Danvers."  She nodded.  "I'm on my way."

 

Before Alex could tell Kara what was going on, Kara's phone buzzed and she held it up.  Cat Grant was asking for something.  "Work," Kara told her.

 

Alex just smiled and hugged her sister again.  "Okay, but we're having dinner tonight...I told Lucy I'd drive her from the DEO."

 

"Right, my place.  I even bought a new game."

 

Smirking, Alex shook her head as she pulled back.  "Okay, maybe I'm not so excited now…"

 

"Why not?  It's the Star Trek: Settlers of Catan!"

 

"We're going to have an odd number."

 

"That's fine, but you can always harass J'onn to come."

 

"Yeah...I don't see that happening."

 

"I love you."

 

"I love you."

 

Alex grabbed her purse and jacket and the two of them headed out of her apartment together.  Even if the day was emotional and hard, they still both had jobs to do and a world to keep safe… 

 

"Pizza?"

 

"Pizza."

  
  


*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

  
  


The End.

  
  



End file.
